Sorry for the silence, any loyal blog readers. I guess second year teaching didn't have much to blog about... mostly I just got out of the habit.
If you want to hear about the school year, ask me at the end of June... I'm too frazzled to be reflective on the school year just yet.
This blog, though, is about 2 very important people who are celebrating their 30th anniversary June 7th. I've planned to write this blog for about a month, when this sense of gratitude and recognition washed over me, and am now sitting down to write it because it's an appropriate time in which to celebrate my parents.
For the past 25 years, my parents have given everything they have to raising and providing for two kids, giving us far more than we ever actually needed. I can remember being bummed out, especially during those awful times my moods swung downward, that we didn't get everything some of my friends did. As a typical, greedy human kid I saw other people had newer stuff, bigger houses,and more vacations than me in my childhood. I'd have to ask my parents, but I don't recall making a huge deal out of it most of the time; I was happy with the food we ate, the house we had, the things we played with, and the presents I received (except for that one video tape of me throwing a fit over receiving "just more clothes"... ironic, since that's what I wish for and splurge on most often now). It's taken growing up and experiencing life on my own budget to think about exactly how much we truly had - far more than they needed to give.
The first that stands out is sports and extracurriculars. Nick and I never got turned down for a desire in this area (although Nick may count not getting a motor bike at age 7 when he was obsessed with the concept). Gymnastics, soccer, hockey, basketball, volleyball, baseball, football, band, theatre... many of these weren't cheap when you consider the league fees, footwear, buying equipment (think of how much equipment is needed to play hockey or football, plus the fact that they bought my first clarinet and were paying for any reeds - single and then double - that I needed), and multiple camps associated with these activities. But if we wanted to do it, and we showed commitment to it (my family rarely quit at anything), we had everything we needed.
Then there were the vacations and trips. As a kid, this one stood out most as what fell under "things I didn't get." But hello, younger self - oh yes you did. We may not go to the Gulf for spring break or Colorado during Christmas, but we did travel. During elementary school, we always took some part of spring break to go somewhere - Kalamazoo, Indiana, Ohio, Frankenmuth, and others. That means hotels, meals, museums, and entertainment to pay for. Every summer we went camping; our trailer may have been paid for before I was aware of it, but its maintenance could be costly and campground fees aren't something to scoff at. We went to Disney when I was in 8th grade, a trip we'd dreamed about. Plus, what I've been able to do in my last ten years have more than covered any complaints of my elementary self. Both Nick and I went to NYC on music tour, and though we had fundraising schemes, I know, in my case, my parents made up the difference. My senior year we went to San Diego and they sent me to Washington DC for close-up, which must have been costly. Then there was Kenya; sure, it didn't technically cost more as a semester than a semester in Palos Heights, but there were plenty of additional costs - new luggage, some new clothes, and providing me with money to spend there on souvenirs and some extra meals (particularly ice cream chocolate, and trips to Lukenya Pool). Then, they brought me on a trip around the eastern part of the U.S. to tour historic landmarks to celebrate my college graduation. Even on trips that I took with others (Hawaii, Cancun), Mom and Dad were always willing to give me some spending money for the trip.
Kenya brings up an incredibly costly venture from 2010-2014 that once again my parents provided for without questioning me... college. From the get-go, either college I chose was going to be expensive. But my heart was almost instantly set on Trinity - a private college out of state, where I'd definitely have to pay room and board. Though at that age I definitely understood how much money it was costing, my parents also had their hearts set on sending me there. Through the years I was expected to pay for college... but my parents were open to helping me whenever I needed them (which was frequent because working at Russ' in high school and babysitting didn't give me too much savings going into college, and dining hall and writing center jobs didn't raise my finances exponentially either). I may be paying the loans now, but that doesn't bother me with how much money my parents paid for all those years of top education for me and my brother.
As I've taken on financial responsibility with an actual full-time job, apartment, and bills, I've also recognized how many other things were handed to me that I took for granted for over 20 years. Knowing the budget for SCS, and the tuition the parents pay, I am humbled that my parents paid for Christian education for 2 kids. I knew how much money my mom often spent at the grocery store but shrugged it off too often... now I understand what feeding a family, especially a picky family, must have been like. We had cable. We had a house to pay a mortgage on and heat during winter. We had two cars... then three... then four... that they paid insurance for and registration fees (and would help the third and fourth drivers with gas money too). Though health insurance helped with doctors visits, dentist, ortho, and eye doctor, there were still co-pays to pay and special services to provide for (I had several surgeries, we all need glasses or contacts, and all of us went through PT at some point in our lives), not to mention the money taken out of a hard-earned pay check to pay for insurance coverage.
I've focused on how my parents provided financially/physically for us, since that's what 24-year-old me has realized over the past year more and more. And I know I haven't even hit all the areas where they were working hard to be sure we had more than we needed. But there was so much more than money that they provided during those years...
In all those activities my brother and I were involved in, it was their physical and emotional support that mattered the most. It was a rare occasion that Mom and Dad missed a game or performance.
They helped shape us both into well-rounded individuals by encouraging such a wide range of interests and passions.
In providing Christian education, they also educated us at home about God's role in our lives, and our role in His kingdom, both by word and deed. Their mandatory involvement in church events and discussions about our faith are why I value church involvement and learning in that community. Showing us that we should show God in whatever situation we're in - not just in a bubble - have shaped Nick and I into people who try to live with integrity.
In taking family vacations, we made memories that we still reminisce about and revisit today. It's the consistent presence with one another, in laughter and tears and memories, that makes living in another state difficult for me.
When I did move off to college, and then to another state, my parents continued to visit; to watch my shows, to cheer on the sports teams, to assemble apple pies, and to just spend quality time doing whatever I chose to do, as long as we were together.
I still enjoy the comforts of life, but I've also realized the importance of saving, being responsible, and planning ahead from them.
They've been a model of Christian living, marriage, parenthood, and all around decent, modest living for me.
They are in Colorado this week, celebrating their 30 years together. And they certainly deserve to spend this time to themselves after 25 years of sacrifice for us.
THANK YOU, MOM AND DAD. I CANNOT SAY IT ENOUGH.
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