The many surprises of 2013

Here we are, on the final eve of 2013. So, like most bloggers out there, I’m reflecting a bit on my past year.

One of the biggest events of 2013 was the semester I spent in Kenya. It was a semester I will never forget. From January to May, I embarked on adventures I never thought I would be participating in. I saw giraffes, zebras, lizards, and monkeys on a daily basis; I rode ostriches (and ate some) and petted elephants; I went on three safaris and snorkeled for two hours in the Indian Ocean; I slept on a beach on a tropical island; I saw incredible sunrises and sunsets; I rock-climbed and hiked several miles; I taught in Kenyan classrooms; I slid down a waterfall and danced with African tribal warriors. It affected my views of my own community as well as other parts of our world, provided new friendships, impacted my view of myself, and overall gave me unforgettable memories.

Shortly after that semester came another highlight of 2013 – working at Grace Adventures. As evidenced by the rest of my blogs, my time working with the high schoolers for most of the summer was challenging, fun, thrilling, and helped me grow and prepare for what is to come in my life.

The fall semester at Trinity was also unlike any other. It included novice teaching, which had its share of challenges but overall gave me confidence for the future. I was able to have real experience in a classroom, and found my excitement for having my own classroom growing and my belief in myself improving. I know I can and will be a good English teacher. It also included another production as the stage manager, as have other semesters at Trinity, but this one was special. I really loved the script, the acting, and the actors in it. Plus, it was my last, which made it even more bittersweet. In fact, the semester held a lot of lasts, and goodbyes to things and people I will miss. The fall semester flew by, and I am just one step closer to being finished with my time as a Troll.

Finally, the most life-changing – and unexpected – part of this year was God placing an amazing man in my life. Kyle is everything God knew I needed. He is a man who loves God with his whole heart, and serves as a spiritual leader for me as well. He cherishes me, and isn’t afraid to show it. He and I fit and it’s fantastic. I cannot wait to see what the years have in store for us, but 2013 will always be special as the year it all began.

There have also been low points of this year. There have been pointless attacks and shootings that have affected our world. Beloved members of the community have passed away, some of them unexpected. The Calvin Christian community lost one of my favorite teachers and an excellent man of faith. It's still hardly to believe he isn't directing the band again this year, but quite a legacy he left. It's a similar feeling for many others from this past year – this feeling of loss, of incredulity that the person isn't around anymore. Despite all the highs, 2013 has brought some heartbreaks too.

So, 2013 draws to a close tonight. I get to spend it with Kyle (first New Year’s kiss I’ve ever had! Woo hoo!), Jess, and Corey (her boyfriend). The most perfect people to usher in 2014 with. This next yearm too, will hold many highs, lows, and suprises. But just as in 2013, God already has it mapped out. I look foward to finding out his plan.

The End... The Beginning

The last time I posted about my semester in general was just before I started novice teaching. In that post, I claimed I would post whenever I could, like when I was avoiding homework or when I had random down time.


As you can probably tell by the lack of posts, random down time was at a minimum. Or if it happened I chose to read a novel.


So my final semester of classes came to a close already and I am anxiously awaiting the start of student teaching. However, before we move on, I'll give a general overview of my semester.


Novice teaching was overall fantastic. I was in the eighth grade Language Arts classroom two days a week, and the seventh grade Social Studies classroom once a week. The students were mostly African American or Hispanic, so it was a diverse experience for me, but fruitful. I taught Language Arts about once a week for most of the time I was there. Through that experience, I started to build a rapport with the students and really look forward to seeing them every week. I also had a good relationship with the teachers, in particular the eighth grade teacher. He was very supportive of me in the classroom; he allowed me to step in and try new activities or methods, he asked about my future, and he gave me feedback on my lessons. Even though I wouldn't use everything he did in the classroom, I appreciated being in his classroom and I felt I thrived in that environment. There are things I need to work on as a teacher, yet this placement built my confidence in my teaching abilities and my excitement to have a class of my own has doubled.


Classes were mostly typical. There were weeks of piles of homework, and there were weeks where homework was completed in relatively good time without too many hairs being extracted. I had fewer classes than any other semester, but with novice teaching also being a component it still kept me with a full schedule.


The Women of Lockerbie was an amazing production. We had eight actors total, plus five members of the production team. Having a smaller cast allowed for more bonding on my part with the whole cast. All of the actors did spectacular and the production went off with very few hitches. Audiences loved it. Most of all, I fell in love with the production and script; I knew most of the lines, I thought the casting was great for the roles, and I certainly didn't want it to end. Nevertheless, it was a great show to end my direct involvement with TCC theatre. Even though student teaching will be great, and though rehearsals often ate up time, I will miss being a part of the production. That black box theatre, the people I've met there, and the memories it holds will always be a big part of my college memories.


I finished the last finals I plan to take. Of course, finals week will remain a part of my life since I'll be grading the finals instead. Yet, for now, the stresses of writing papers and taking tests that comes at the end of every semester is over. It actually wasn't too bad of an end of the semester stress-wise; most of my big projects were finished earlier, and though I had three papers, over half of them had been mostly written a week earlier and workshopped as rough drafts. I was glad to have worked so hard all semester long to make those last two weeks feel like a break.


Now I am home until the end of February; the “real” teaching experience will begin as classes start up in January. I'll be in a 9^th and 12^th grade English classrooms at Northpointe, then return to Illinois for the end of the semester to teach in an 8^th grade Language Arts class. While I'm at home, I hope to also spend some time volunteering for Winter Blasts at Grace, though am hesitant to make too many commitments when I know weekends will be filled with planning and grading.


I'm pumped to start student teaching; I think it'll be a good experience. But I also know there will be a lot of stress involved, and perhaps even some moments of doubt in myself. What I need for the next semester is prayers that I will remember God is guiding me, and this is undoubtedly the path he has planned for me – teaching.


Dark chocolate might also help.

Punctuation Jokes and Puns

“For any true stickler, you see, the sight of the plural word “Book's” with an apostrophe in it will trigger a ghastly private emotional process similar to the stages of bereavement, though greatly accelerated. First there is shock. Within seconds, shock gives way to disbelief, disbelief to pain, and pain to anger. Finally (and this is where the analogy breaks down), anger gives way to a righteous urge to perpetrate an act of criminal damage with the aid of a permanent marker.”


For those of you who are grammar and punctuation geeks like me, you probably have had a reaction similar to the one Lynne Truss describes in the quote above, though only now see it in line with the stages of grief. And you laughed. Especially at that last line.


I was assigned to read the book Eats, Shoots, & Leaves by Truss for my teaching English course. It was probably the most I've ever laughed while reading a textbook. So I'm going to be a dork for this post and share with you some of my favorite quotes and examples from the book.


Back cover joke:
A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
“Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“I'm a panda,” he says at the door. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry, and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
“Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”


About us grammar sticklers:

• “While we look in horror at a badly punctuated sign, the world carries on around us, blind to our plight. We are like the little boy in The Sixth Sense who can see dead people, except that we see dead punctuation.”
  
• “Stand outside a... cinema indicating – with a cut-out apostrophe on a stick – how the title Two Weeks Notice might be easily grammatically corrected (I did this), and not a soul will take your side or indeed have a clue what your problem is. ”
  

Comments about a student who said he punctuated his texts correctly because he has an A level in English: “Evidently an A level in English is a sacred trust, like something out of Lord of the Rings. You must go forth with your A level and protect the English language with your bow of elfin gold.”

Poor punctuation: “Now, there are no laws against imprisoning apostrophes and making them look daft. Cruelty to punctuation is quite unlegislated: you can get away with pulling the legs off semicolons; shrivelling question marks on the garden path under a powerful magnifying glass you name it.”


Some examples:

• “Next week: nouns and apostrophe's! (BBC website advertising a grammar course for children)”
  
• “Frog's piss (French wine putting unfair strain on a single frog)”
  
• “Member's May Ball (but with whom will the member dance?)”
  
• “New members welcome drink (doubtless true)”
  
• “Childrens' education... (in a letter from the head of education at the National Union of Teachers)”
  
• “The driver managed to escape from the vehicle before it sank and swam to the river-bank”
  

(I found it frustrating and discouraging that two of those came from people or programs that were supposed to be educating others)


The importance of punctuation even has relevance to theology. Since the original text of the Bible wasn't punctuated, there can be interpretations by translators that have different meanings:
“Verily, I say unto thee, This day thou shalt be with me in Paradise.” versus “Verily I say unto thee this day, Thou shalt be with me in Paradise.” (the second leaves room for the option of purgatory)
“Comfort ye my people.” versus “Comfort ye, my people.”(there's a difference in whom is being comforted)
“The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness: Prepare ye the way of the Lord.” versus “The voice of him that crieth: In the wilderness prepare ye the way of the Lord.”


“Law of Conservation of Apostrophes... states that a balance exists in nature: 'For every apostrophe omitted from an it's, there is an extra one put into an its.'”


“Between the 16^th century and the present day, [the comma] became a kind of scary grammatical sheepdog... the comma has so many job as a 'separator'... that it tears about on the hillside of language, endlessly organizing words into sensible groups to make them stay put... Commas, if you don't whistle at them to calm down, are unstoppably enthusiastic at this job.”


“The big final rule for the comma is one that you won't find in any books by grammarians. It is quite easy to remember, however. The rule is: don't use commas like a stupid person.”


“Semicolons are dangerously habit-forming. Many writers hooked on semicolons become an embarrassment to their families and friends... the writers rock back and forth in their office chairs, softly tapping the semicolon key and emitting low whimpers.”


I didn't make it all the way through the book yet (sorry Dr. BC) but I hope to. I hope some of you also enjoyed a laugh over some of these. Others probably just have more reasons to roll their eyes at me. Oh well. I, Rebecca Reed, claim openly that I am a lover of punctuation, and the humor it can bring.

It even has a punctuation repair kit! These are stickers I can stick to incorrect signs.

Semester goals... Mid-term.

A couple weeks ago, one of my friends mentioned in Outcry (the weekly student-led worship service) that as seniors, we only have so many Outcrys left. Then, at the end of the hour, we circled up as we so often do, and sang “My Friends May You Grow in Grace” as a Trinity community, hands latched together. I glanced around at the faces, and saw faces of seniors who were hall-mates, roommates, classmates, friends, or just people I've spent time with along the way, and I nearly started crying. I've already felt somewhat of a shift this year from the regular hang-outs to less time together as many are more busy with senior-level classes, internships, novice teaching, student teaching, and leadership positions than before (myself included). But we only have so many more times to gather Thursday nights for worship, or to spend time together on “I don't wanna do homework, let's watch a movie” nights, or to go out on dinner dates. I'm (most likely) going to be spending part of next semester student teaching in MI, and even when I'm back on campus so much of my time will be spent at the school, grading, or writing plans for the next week. Plus several friends are going abroad, or also starting internships, and so the time to spend with one another is passing us by – quickly.


So instead of making this post all sentimental (there will be PLENTY of those to come), I want to set some goals, so I don't waste the precious time I have left - which is starting it's downhill slide towards the end of the semester, as this week marks midterm!
These may or may not be the typical specific/measurable/attainable/relevant/time-bound goals that education always asks for, but, hey, I'm not getting graded.... I don't think.

1. Spend weekly time with my closest friends who are not a part of Tib 30, in Women of Lockerbie, or in English classes with me. Note: that isn't to say my closest friends who are in those 3 categories don't count... bear with me. Anyway, back to goal 1. For those girls that I don't necessarily cross paths with because our schedules don't demand it, I will demand it. And already I haven't done a good job with this... But I want to improve. This doesn't necessarily mean it'll always be a couple hours together, because let's be honest, that isn't always possible weekly. Maybe it's just a stop in your room on a study break, or twenty minutes of dinner together. As long as I see you every week, and talk for more than five minutes, I'll be happy. Of course, I will welcome spending a couple of hours together as well, as long as we both have free time!
   
2. Minimize the complaining about my profs, and daily remember just how grateful I should be, and am. No offense to everyone else from other colleges who believe their professors are the best, but seriously – Trinity professors rock. In education, I constantly hear how important it is to build relationships with your students, and Trinity professors have definitely modeled that. They know my interests and hobbies – they ask about the play, they make suggestions about topics they know I'll enjoy writing about or participating in, they comment on my Courier articles, or they refer to me in class when they know it's a topic I am knowledgeable about. They're willing to chat with me, about school, teaching, or just life. If I am feeling overwhelmed, they usually will extend grace on assignments and an empathetic word. And yet, I never want to ask for extensions unless I have a superb reason because I don't want to let them down either; I would hate to disappoint any of my profs, and I've actually shed a tear in some of their offices because I feel terrible about the fact I accidentally slept through a class when I was supposed to turn in a project or my hard drive crashed and my finished paper was erased. They support my efforts, building me up and yet also providing feedback on where I can improve. All of this goes for some professors I've only had once as well – it doesn't matter, they remember my name and could strike up a conversation with me when they see me passing by. When I returned from Kenya last year, I was just as excited to see some of my professors as I was to see my friends, and I actually went around to several of their offices to just say hi. And this semester is the last semester I'll be taking classes, aside from my student teaching course. I want to enjoy the time I have with these wonderful adults and mentors. And I don't want to let time go by with me complaining rather than appreciating the blessing I have going to a college with professors like these.
   
3. Have weekly real conversation, lots of laughs, and quality time with my girls of Tib 30. I know we're all running 500 directions – softball, psych club, classes, work, theatre, Roseland – but I want to spend time every week together, all of us, making memories. Maybe we're still doing some light homework, but all sitting together and chatting while doing it. Maybe that's dinner together, since we now have a kitchen. It could also be chunks of quality time I get with each of you, at different times when our schedules allow. Perhaps we create a short amount of time where the words softball, class, theatre, psych club, and work-related terms are not allowed to enter conversation so that we all can share our own time, free of discussion of other extra-curriculars we're apart of separately. I'm just throwing ideas out there, but I seriously need more quality time with you girls, so that this semester doesn't pass me by and I never get a chance to make the good memories of Tib 30.
4. Spend more time with friends I met through theatre... But spend that time out of the theatre. We've had one girls night with 3 of my close friends, and it was lovely. This needs to happen more. And for others, perhaps let's grab dinner together sometime, or go out to Plush Horse. Essentially, let's just catch up when we aren't making blocking notes, running through scenes, or setting up for a performance.
5. Stress less over my schedule. This is a whole lot easier said than done, and I guarantee I will stray from this goal several times. But it's a goal nonetheless. The thing is, I'm pretty good at time management (I say as I have spent a couple hours/days, combined, typing this post... but really, I am a good time manager, I swear). I need to trust myself that it will get done because I'm going to make sure it does. Yes, on those days that I don't come back to the room from 8 am-11 pm because of class, novice, work, and rehearsal, that means a late night of homework. But that isn't time I'm wasting, and I'll get the homework done as efficiently as possible, get some rest, and start again tomorrow. And also, I should be okay to take a half hour break during those other days I may have more leeway with my time. I'll burn myself out if all I do is go, go, go with work and never let my mind take a break. With all that's on my plate, and with my inherent drive to complete tasks, I will work everything out with my schedule. Then, once I've already made a plan, I need to just let it be and not fret over every detail. I have a plan, and things may come up, but I'll bend and I will get it done. So stop stressing, self!
6. Don't spend frivolously. I didn't earn an income during last semester, and I won't next semester either (I'll be doing too much work to earn a living... figure that one out!). I don't even want to talk about the loan payments that await me after I graduate. And I'll also be taking on more financial responsibilities as I start a real life – rent, bills, groceries, etc. With all of that awaiting me, plus still having to make tuition payments for the next 1.5 semesters, I cannot afford to throw away money on things I don't necessarily need. Groceries – necessary, but I don't need 2 cases of pop, a few boxes of name-brand cookies, and a bag of candy just because I feel like it. Spending a few bucks on used books I find for my classroom library – pretty useful and a good idea, but I don't need to be spending $20 per book just because I want to read it. And I certainly don't need to buy another plaid shirt just because it's cute.
7. Take more pictures! I'm usually a picture-taking queen. Yet, I noticed as I posted this blog, I have hardly any pictures from this semester. So this needs to be remedied.
   

That's a solid start, I think. Perhaps made a little too late,being already half-way through the semester. Yet, I do still have some time to make these a reality in my life. And I am not letting it go to waste, if I can help it.


You all can help, too. Some of these I'm going to need some support and some cooperation in order to make steps toward reaching these goals. Now that I've put this out there for you, my world, to see, a) I won't be able to slack and b) you all know what I want to do, and can make plans to help me. I hope you all can agree to that for me.
You all rock, and I love each one of you (appropriately).

Buckle up, buttercup

“Students should read poetry like they listen to rock and roll.”

That's according to one of my profs. But seriously, think about it. Pick your favorite artist, whether that be country, rock, pop, whatever. So they release a new album. One that you deem worth buying on CD or iTunes because, dude, this is your favorite band/singer! Anyway, so you buy the album. During your first listen, do you really understand the meaning behind the songs? Not usually. But you play it. You play that bad boy over, and over, and over, until you know the words by heart and can belt them in the car. You may not still know what every song means, but hey you know the words. Perhaps a month after buying the album, it hits you – so that's what this song means! Okay now apply it to poetry. It's not that you necessarily have to read it for months, but you aren't going to “get” it on the first try. There you have it. A good method and analogy to use for teaching English.

That's just one tidbit of wisdom from my methods course on teaching English. Many others center around the idea that our job is to help kids see that reading and writing are fun, and how to do so. But another notable piece of advice that I enjoyed: Marry someone who reads a lot. They often take time to think about all the good things they have.... And if you can, marry a nerd. They love deeper for longer.

 Interesting note.... 


That's really only the tip of what these three weeks of school have brought for me. In the 15 credits I'm taking, I have theatre club, a literature course, a history course, 2 methods courses – 1 teaching English, the other general methods (novice teaching) – and senior seminar. The beginning of the year so far has kept me busy working on “real world” teaching stuff, but now the real schedule of my semester is about to start. For novice teaching, I'll be in a classroom for 12 weeks, 2-3 days a week, going beyond observing to also be teaching several lessons. The rehearsals for the mainstage play The Women of Lockerbie are beginning, and as the stage manager I will be attending every rehearsal I can. Plus I am working a few hours tutoring students on writing papers in the Writing Center. I am off and running.


But I'm also facing my senior year – my last year in a community I have loved and grown in for 3 years. It's my last semester of theatre. My last semester having classes with some of my favorite professors. It's my last year to get out there and get involved in college life. And not to mention my last year living near so many wonderful friends. How do I keep feeding the relationships despite the different directions we are all already running? It's tough. But I do not want to face my last year of “normality” and not keep these friendships alive.


There will be plenty to share the rest of the year about teaching, what I'm learning and how I'm growing. Probably lots of stories to tell from Tib30, theatre, classes, and my crazy life. It may or may not be weekly posts, but as inspiration strikes – or when I feel a desire to avoid homework – a post will show up.


God is going to twist and turn me all around. But he is going to pour out his blessing abundantly on me, in ways I probably can't even plan or imagine. I cannot wait.

My roomies this year (girls, we need a new picture)

                                           (photo courtesy of Trinity theatre club Facebook page)

One of the spots you'll usually find me on campus... Our black box theatre. The Troll likes it too.

My itty bitty, beloved campus

God is So Good - the last week of camp and reflections on the summer

It's been nearly 2 weeks since camp ended, and I apologize for my lack of an update or closing to the summer. I was jumping into the next whirlwind of activity – packing to move to Trinity. But we'll talk about that later.


The last week of camp was August 12-17. There are two things this might make you wonder: a) wait, wasn't there a week in between that week and the last week you wrote about? and b) that's a Monday to a Saturday. That can't be right. First, yes, there was a week missing in my blogs; I sat down to write that blog, but couldn't think of much to say. Let it suffice to say that the first week of August at camp went smoothly, and looked pretty similar to the week before (see the blog about Tim Team during Surf City). Second, the final week was indeed Monday-Saturday. Due to the differing schedules of the guest groups, I worked Saturday, had Sunday off, and then Tim Team came Monday and stayed through early Saturday, the last day of my contract.


The most unique thing about the week: it was an all girls Tim Team. Yup, the only ounce of testosterone on the team was from our core staff, Jonathan.


I'm not going to lie, prior to the beginning of the week I was freaking out about having an all girls team. It wasn't because I didn't know how to handle all girls; I was a Treasure Seekers counselor, after all. It was more about the fear of isolation. For the last month of camp, most people on staff work as adventure staff, and they don't have their own campers. This allows for more time to be around other young adults, and, though they do work hard, there is generally more down time than when you're in charge of a group of campers. And I am not denying that I love my job as counselor. Adventure staff is great, but it isn't the role I would fit into if I was working there all summer. However, when every staff member is off together and making memories and you still have campers relying on you, and you're pretty much separated from the staff on different assignments than they have, it can get lonely. That was one of the reasons I was glad to be working alongside Kyle, to have another peer to share my day with (okay, okay, that wasn't the biggest reason, but it was part of it). But now my companion wouldn't be around. I was literally the last counselor standing. I eventually turned that into a light-hearted brag, but before the week began I was not happy about it. Everyone would be having fun, and I would be the only person in the crew who had left high school far behind me. Plus it was the last week, the week of goodbyes. I was frustrated and not looking forward to the week.


Before the girls arrived Monday, I realized how much I was spiraling into irrational stressing. And it was Satan just whispering doubts and negative thoughts into my mind, thoughts I was buying into. It was just another week, working with an age group I had come to love working with. I had done this 3 times before; I knew the ins and outs. And most of all, God was with me. Why was I stressing?


Well, God then gave me many blessings. One blessing was my team. Of 5 girls, all but one were Quest campers, which meant they were older and most had gone through Pathfinders once or twice. 4 of my girls were also returning Tim Teamers, so they had done it at least one week if not more prior to this particular week. They knew what they were doing, and their ages also increased their responsibility level.
Another was how the schedule fell into place. Remember how I didn't think I would get to be with any of the staff, ever, all week long? Well, God took care of that worry. First, Jonathan wasn't scheduled as much so was working with our group a lot. Second, every day at least one staff member was scheduled to come do an activity with us, and sometimes they came for multiple activities. Lastly, with some shifts in scheduling, I was able to attend all but one of the staff events they planned for the final week, participating in ziplining, movie night, and a closing campfire for the staff.


And at those events I was further blessed. I (finally) got to be in my favorite position on campus – the top of the zipline. I was able to encourage my Tim Team girls and the staff as they climbed to the top, took in a lovely view, and then I got to zipline down myself. I was able to just relax outside, on a blanket, next to friends, watching Despicable Me in the company of full-time staff as well as summer staff. And then I got to be at the closing campfire, where we shared memories from the summer and what God had taught each one of us. I even got to be there for the moment Kyle shared how he is closing one chapter in his life and moving onto the next, symbolized by the burning of his old pink hat, and support him as he did so. I not only got to see and speak with fellow staff members far more than I expected, I was able to participate in the memories being made. I was incredibly thankful.


I was also challenged during the week. Though it was a blessing to have girls who were experienced, it also brought its own challenges. In general, those challenges were defining the line between camper and counselor. It was helpful to have girls who were older, and it was helpful to have veteran Tim Teamers, but sometimes that caused conflict as they started acting as if they were the ones who had the authority and started taking certain liberties. Now it was up to me to resolve them, something that isn't my strong suit. It also required me to figure out how to best define that line, and when to treat them as the responsible young women they are and when to exert my authority. It wasn't perfect, but we made it through the week. More importantly, I came to realize this may very well be a conflict that arises if I teach high school. I will be smaller than most students, and in my effort to build relationships, sometimes students can push that line separating us. I had always known this would be an issue I might face, but experiencing made me realize I need to really think for myself about how to handle this.


Overall, this summer was absolutely fantastic. I don't think I can sum up everything that has gone on in a few sentences, nor do I think I can pinpoint everything I've learned and experienced. Here's just a few ways that I've seen God working in me this summer:

• He has shown me just exactly how right it is to follow the career path I chose, which is a continuation from the rest of the year. Time and again he has opened my eyes to the passion I have for teaching; this summer, it was clearly showing me the love I have for working with students in the middle and high school ages, the age group I will be teaching. In the one week I worked with elementary students, even though I like little kids, my heart wasn't in it in the same way as when I worked with older kids, especially the Tim Team. Though this age group has its own challenges that I will have to navigate, I look forward to seeing this passion grow as I have more experiences in the classroom this year.
  
• He showed me more about leadership, and how I can be better Christ-like leader. I may have been the one teaching the lessons, helping to train the teenagers to become servant leaders, yet through working through the material for them, I too learned more about how I can improve.
  
• I've learned where I, too, have bought into the lies Satan tells, like we talked about with the Treasure Seekers. I was able to see that some of my actions are motivated by those lies, and I have been trying to grasp the truth instead.
  
• I learned about God's absolutely perfect timing. Stay with me, this might get more sappy than I have been on this blog, but it was a real lesson I took from these 3 months. For awhile, I wanted to find someone to make me happy, someone to fill a gap. But God didn't want that for me – yet. It took being comfortable with where I was, recognizing that God was enough. I stopped looking for a boy; unlike last summer, I came into the summer at camp with zero expectations of finding someone to date. Once God had me where he wanted me, he decided to bless me beyond my wildest expectations. It wasn't by chance I met Kyle this summer, going into my final year at school, after I had gone through several experiences that have molded me into who I am. It was after he, too, had gone through a time of growth, bringing him closer to God and better equipped to be the man God wanted him to be, preparing him for me, as God was preparing me for him. Now, I'm in a relationship where I am treated like a queen. We encourage one another, sharing our burdens and joys as we also share a love for the Lord. God knew what each of needed to experience, how each of us needed to get our hearts set in the correct place, and when we would be in the best place in life to find one another. I'd heard from many people God was preparing someone for me, someone who would be exactly the right man for me; I never could've guessed exactly how true that was, above and beyond what I had even dreamed. God has such amazing timing.
  

I probably missed some things about God's work within me this summer, but those are the major areas that came to mind.


God worked this summer in so many unexpected ways, and I give him all the glory for the things he has done.

Cruising along during Surf City - Tim Team week 2

“Becca.”

“Hmmm?”

“There's an animal in our tent.”

“WHAT.”

They tell us that a counselor should be willing to be up and ready at any point of the night. This week was the second time I've experienced a teenager waking me up at an odd hour of the morning (you'd think it'd be the little kids... not so. It's always been the high schoolers). This time it wasn't for medicine or bathroom emergency. This time it was an animal scavenging around in the tent we sleep in as the females on Tim Team; an animal this teen said she had been hearing for awhile but was afraid to wake anyone up. When she called across the tent to me, another teen also woke and heard the animal. As we lay in the dark, no longer hearing said animal but too afraid to look, the four Tim Team girls and I were discussing the possibilities.

“What if it's a possum?”

“Or it could be a raccoon.”

“Or a mouse or something.”

Now if you know some of my fears, two that are near the top of the list are raccoons and mice. The girls were saying “shine a flashlight over there.” I, however, was panicking that I'd find two beady, circled eyes or see a little ball of fur scurrying around the tent. I think I was squeaking in fear, while also giggling nervously, just as much as the other teens. Eventually, I summoned up at least some courage and ran to the boys' tent to call out Kyle to save us (remember his rescue in week one of Pathfinders, when I was trying not to panic while lost on a sand dune? Yup. This guy knows how to rescue me in my scariest moments of camp). After clearing ourselves out of the tent, he shone his flashlight around under beds and into corners and found... nothing. Somewhere, at some point, the animal had already escaped, to remain a mystery of who our visitor had been.

Overall, the week went well. We had about seven or eight Tim Teamers who had been on Tim Team before, so, for the most part, knew the ins and outs of the various tasks. This was definitely an advantage, because I spent a lot less time explaining and simply delegating. However, not all of them took that experience and turned it into taking initiative. After a bit of a rough start, though, more and more teens began to simply do the next task rather than sit down or wander aimlessly once one task was complete. We had some hectic moments, having over 200 plates a meal from the combined Surf City, Rustic Warrior, and Ranch camps plus the various pots, pans, and utensils used to cook those meals. Yet the kids worked hard and by Thursday we were cruising.

Moreover, I felt more confident this week. Part of it was knowing I had a team of veterans who I didn't have to break down every detail for them. Another part was that I also had experience backing me up, having one week of Tim Team counseling already under my belt from earlier this summer. Third was my partner in crime. For the first time since Pathfinders, Kyle was leading right next to me. As with Pathfinder weeks, we fell into the cohesive team, his strengths playing off mine and visa versa. All of these combined, in addition to a more laid back schedule that accompanies Surf City weeks, made it a great week.

We're in the home stretch now. Two weeks of summer at Grace Adventures left for me and the staff that remains. Already my mind wanders to ten days after I complete my contract, when I move back to school. This fall looks different than any other semester I've had at Trinity, bringing excitement, anxiety, anticipation, and sadness. Yet I can't allow myself to dwell on that just yet. I remain physically and mentally present here at Grace for a couple more weeks. It's going to be crazy, it's going to be fun, and there will be more stories to tell. Let's see what God has in store for these next two weeks!

Treasure Seekers - Truth and Girl Talk

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” John 8:32

Guys are cool. I love hanging out with my boyfriend, I have male friends, and sometimes nothing beats spending some time with a group of mixed genders. But every girl needs some girl time. For the last week of Grace's youth camps, I had a whole lot of girl time with 4 staff and 26 middle school girls. This was Treasure Seekers.

Working with 12-14 year old girls had its share of... well, drama. There were a range of maturity levels, a range of attention spans, and lots and lots of hormones. And those hormones led to tears, particularly in my cabin. Of 9 girls, I saw 6 of them cry at one time or another; and a couple of them cried over something almost every day. I have the spiritual gift of mercy, and God surely needed me to use it this week.

Last week it was somewhat hot in the kitchen. This week it was hot... everywhere. Lucky for the Treasure Seekers, we were pampered all week long by staying in the only air conditioned building on campus. Besides being pampered this way, we also spent a lot of down time chatting as only girls love to do, we had a spa night, and a fancy dinner where we got to put on our Sunday best and look cute.

But this week was far more than outer beauty and being girly. Rather, we were focused on what it means to be a Godly woman in today's culture. Specifically, our focus centered around seeking truth over the lies that we hear every single day. We looked at lies versus truth in several different areas – the truth about lies, the truth about God, the truth about relationships, and the truth about ourselves. In looking at truth, we first studied the lies the world tells us about the different areas, such as God isn't involved in our lives, we need a boyfriend to be happy, you must perform well or look a certain way to be valuable, God should just fix all our problems, and several more. Those lies were replaced by truths such as I am fearfully and wonderfully made, God is enough, God cares about every detail of our lives, and much more about the way we are viewed and valued. We had speakers each night, followed by discussion time and some time for each girl to journal.

The curriculum was so relevant to young women in today's society; middle schoolers and high schoolers hear those lies daily, from the media, friends, or even within their own minds. The lessons were even relevant to twenty-something-year-olds or older. I still find myself caught in some of those lies, and need to meditate on what is the truth. The talks really hit home for the girls, as evidenced by the questions they were asking, their attention to their own personal devotions, and the one-on-one discussions I had.

Those lessons were carried out in other experiences during the week. At the climbing tower, we focused on overcoming challenges and how holding onto the truth isn't always going to be easy, but perseverance and overcoming those lies is rewarding. At the zipline at the very end of the week, the girls left the biggest lie that has been invading their life at the top of the zipline, than zipped away from that lie. My girls also wrote on their targets things they needed to get rid of in their lives while at the ranges, and shot 22's at those targets.

This week was a week full of impact, and that came out in some of my one-on-ones. Wednesday night, we answered questions from the anonymous question jar, and through that not only taught them about life, boys, being a girl, and interacting with their parents, but also our speaker shared the salvation message using the analogy of the cross as a bridge. That talk brought a lot of girls to make the decision in their lives to live for Christ and start their own relationship with Him, including some of the girls from my cabin. One girl committed that night during the talk, another recommitted her life during our one-on-one while everyone got ready for bed. A third from my cabin had told me originally that she wasn't in a relationship with Christ yet, that she felt as though she was standing on the edge, almost ready but not quite. I checked in with her later, and found out during one of the morning devotional times she finally felt she was ready and committed her life. God was moving every week, but there was something special about how He moved in the hearts of the Treasure Seekers this week.

This brings us to the end of the youth camps Grace Adventures puts on for the summer. Last year at this time, I was headed home; many counselors from this summer have now departed, finished with their contracts. The next 4 weeks I have left are going to be spent working either adventure staff (running activities, cleaning grounds, and so on) or Tim Team while GA hosts a guest group that comes in yearly called Surf City. This program is separate from Grace, bringing in large groups of inner city kids from Pittsburgh to use our grounds for their camp experience. I've heard amazing things about this program, and can hardly wait to see what these weeks will bring for those kids and the staff as I and many others transition roles. Stay tuned for many God-sightings, funny stories, and new experiences as the rest of the summer plays out.

I thank God for what He's done this summer; I could never have expected the changes God has brought in my heart and life, and wouldn't have pictured this is what my life would like only 2 months ago. Pray for me and the staff as we prepare ourselves for what's to come, and for the many lessons God has left to teach us.  

Tim Team week 1 - kicking butt, taking names

Well, here we are with only one week left of the Grace camps; 5 weeks left to go in my contract. Nuts!

From June 30 to July 5, I was with Family Camp, hence no blog post about that week. Though exciting things happened, I didn't see it worth writing a whole post. Just know that it was refreshing, fun, and I had an awesome family I hosted as well as got to hang out with staff members more often.

Then, for this past week, I spent my first week out of 5 as Tim Team counselor. Praise the Lord, I'm back with my high schoolers!

We had nearly a full Tim Team week, which is a first for this summer. I had 5 girls, and there were also 4 guys (full is 6 of each gender). My fellow counselor this week was Josh, which was really good for my first week as he has worked Tim Team many weeks when he was in high school himself so could guide me, a girl without the first clue as to the details of the responsibilities we have on Tim Team.

Essentially, every day our schedule looked a little like this:

7:15 Wake up/get ready. Actually, for my girls and myself, that was more like 6:45 or 7:00.

7:40 Personal devotion time

8:10 Set up the dining hall for breakfast. This included setting out cups (if we hadn't done that after dinner), getting juice pitchers, and prepping the dish room to be ready for us to start working after we finished eating

8:25 Eat breakfast, and try to finish by about 8:45 so we can start dishes or our work project

8:45-10:30 Work in our crews. For this week, with a larger amount of Tim Teamers, we split into 2 crews, with Josh heading one while I headed the other. Every meal it switched who was doing what. If my crew was in the dish room at breakfast, we would be doing a work project after lunch, then we'd be back in the dish room at dinner.

10:30-11:30 Either a work project for the whole team or Bible study

11:30 Back to the dining hall to set up lunch!

12:20-2:30 Work in crews

2:30-4:30 Scheduled activity, which might be free time or a field trip or Bible study

4:30 Back to dining hall

5:30-8:00 Work in crews

8:00-11:00 Night activity, usually with Venture Out which was the middle school camp, and showers

That pretty much sums up what went on in a general sense. It was actually nice for me to have just a few specific things I knew we would be doing every day, rather than feeling like every day brought something completely new and running all over camp to this activity and that activity.

My week actually flew by, faster than most weeks at camp so far. All 9 campers came ready to work, which was a giant blessing. I had some conversations with some of the girls about campers who chose not to do Pathfinders because they didn't want to work; the Tim Teamers I was talking with thought that was poor reasoning, because they find working with Tim Team actually fun and not really that much work at all. To hear young high school students finding work beneficial and not a burden was really encouraging. Even more so, I saw campers who I taught during Pathfinders step up into leadership roles, which is exactly the type of outcome the program is aiming for.

Furthermore, I really appreciated spending at least some time with Venture Out campers and counselors every day. Tim Team can sometimes feel secluded and cut off from the rest of camp. Having the schedules mix allowed for my campers to talk to their friends in the camp and learn from what their peers (or only slightly younger students) were learning from. I appreciated seeing some of my friends who were counselors in the camp, and still being able to spend some time having fun outside of the kitchen.

I won't say we didn't have hiccups. There were times the kids tried my patience or weren't always serving joyfully. There were times I felt discouraged and lost as to what I was supposed to do, and not sure I was leading well. But overall, this was an excellent week. I got to further those relationships I began in Pathfinders, something few counselors get to do, since they only see those campers for one week. I can hardly wait to see more kids come back for other Tim Team weeks, and to continue to serve the camp joyfully myself while leading kids to do the same.

Questing with the Explorer camp

Remember how exhausted I was at the end of last week, and praying for an “easy” week with Explorers? Well, God decided to grant me with another week leaving me drained but with new lessons to learn amidst the strain.

Last year, I worked over half of my time with the elementary school camps. I loved my time with the Explorer camp, and going into this week was thinking I know the drill. I wouldn't have guessed transitioning back into young kids after weeks of training high schoolers to be leaders would be so difficult. Counseling for Explorer camp used to come nearly as easily as breathing; not true anymore. I had to transition into tying tennis shoes, answering dozens of questions daily about what was next on the schedule even after I'd already told them the schedule a couple times that day, and listening to sobbing over minor injuries and homesickness. I was missing my high school campers, missing the expectations of that camp, and missing feeling confident and comfortable with my role.

Overall, the campers themselves were well-behaved and got along well. I did have a severely homesick camper, and I struggled for days to prod her into getting involved in fun activities with others. She would sit off to the side at free time and when others were socializing she remained withdrawn. I would prod her to get involved, suggesting different things she should try, but I couldn't push her much more. However, this situation provided opportunity for an exciting moment, a true God thing, towards the end of the week. After days of frustration over how to get her to involve herself, on Wednesday we went on dune rides. This girl sat by me, but when we got out to play on the dune, she ran off with another girl and simply played. When we returned, she was playing gaga ball, 4-square, and chatting with other girls at free time. That night as we spent time as a cabin, she was talking to various girls in the cabin and being a crazy 10 year-old with them. All of this occurred without me having to push her towards it. I was seriously dancing inside.

Outside of the challenge I faced with this camper, the rest of the campers provided few challenges besides the normal constant questions and not always listening to directions. Rather, what caused the biggest stress throughout my week was feeling like I lived on different planets than some of the counselors. For 2 weeks of Pathfinders, I worked with 5 people whom I knew, who I had worked with on some level, and who knew Grace as well (or better) than me because we'd all worked here previously. In Explorer, there are many new staff. That isn't to say they aren't good counselors; they are doing a marvelous job overall. And I'm not going to bring up all of what I faced, but let it suffice to say my expectations of how things were done didn't always line up with other counselors, which was causing tension for me. I had to implement a model I had taught to high schoolers for the past two weeks about feedback, and try to get on the same page as them. After those conversations, things did get better, but I still didn't always see eye-to-eye with those people. It still provided a couple valuable lessons. First, when I am working with faculty and staff in my future job as a teacher, I may be working on a team with a teacher who doesn't do anything the same way I do. I'm going to have to learn to communicate, compromise, and major on the majors rather than on the minors. Second, this challenge forced me to confront the issue, something I avoid, and be a better communicator.

There were still highlights, as usual. Kids still surprised me in one-on-ones with their answers to questions. They learned lessons I didn't even realize they were absorbing, about prayer, the Bible, God, and their relationship with Christ. And we had fun – I rode the shark multiple times, I was able to be energetic and laugh during chapel, and I got to be totally wacky and crazy during songs, skits, and sillies. I dressed up in my pj's one morning and later that night wore a sparkly dress and a tiara. I sang at the top of lungs some silly songs. Daily, I received notes from a pretty amazing man ;) When I grasped onto those things, the tension lifted and I definitely had many laughs this week.

Friday still came, as it always does. I survived, and I will only be working with people over the age of 12 for the rest of the summer, most of the time working with returning Pathfinders. I also realized why God is calling me to work with the older kids, as that is definitely more where my heart lies. I cannot wait to continue those connections I've formed with the high school students, and to see them return and step into leadership roles in a new way on the Tim Team. But God wanted me to step out and try a little of everything.

Family Camp is this week, which is one of the best weeks all summer. Families stay on campus, and staff hosts them, eating meals together, leading one daily family activity, and answering questions, but we do not stay with them. Family camp week means a) no kids staying with me 24 hours a day, b) less responsibilities for pretty much every job, c) more time with the staff due to less responsibilities, and d) I am able to practice some duties of adventure staff, like belaying, sitting on top of the zip line tower, or hanging out at the waterfront. It's a week of refreshment, which I think I definitely need at this time. I thank God for His strength, but also for this rest.

Pathfinders Week 2... God's challenge for our staff.

I sit here this Friday night, pretty worn out from this entire week but happy I'm here. This was one of the craziest, toughest, and most memorable weeks of camp I've had. 

Similar to last week, we had very few Pathfinders. Carla and I combined to have 9 girls, and the guys had 11 teens. Also similar to last week, Kyle and I were paired up as small group leaders. But unlike last week, nearly every camper was returning to camp and some were even returning for their 2^nd year of Pathfinders. Looking at that list at the beginning of the week, it seemed that fact might make it a little easier. Well not exactly.

We quickly realized our biggest struggle for the week would be focus and respect while others talked. This went for both groups. I'll admit I fell into some certain teacher habits (“you're only wasting your own time”) when trying to gain back control. They sort of worked, but this is going to need to be an area I work on before becoming a teacher – gaining back the focus of my students. However, we had the advantage that we knew some kids had been here before and could be influencing these groups for the better if they stepped up and implemented leadership. This worked with some individuals, and that made it easier. 

We got through the first two days without too many major hitches. Then Wednesday came. The most interesting day that was so full of roller coaster moments as I hadn't personally experienced before.

As I believe I mentioned previously, part of the Pathfinders curriculum is teaching about the five major worldviews. This week, each of the counselors took one of the four worldviews (the four beside Christian theism) to teach each morning. I began this morning teaching spiritism. It went all right, and I even got kids interested in watching the 1990 movie, Ghost, because I showed a clip from it. Anyway, after lunch, during free time, one of my highlights of the day came along. Tubing was open, so Kyle and I went with a couple campers. When that ride was over, not many campers were lined up to go tubing. Kyle and I were already in the water, Carla was standing on the shore debating tubing, and Josh was just near the point. Carla jumped into our group, but we needed a fourth. Guess who we asked; Josh. The 3 people I've been working with, growing close to, and connecting with in a way different than any other staff, all participating in one of my favorite camp activities. I couldn't help but grin. Kyle and I ended up in the water while Carla and Josh both stayed dry, but that's besides the point. 

 

I couldn't have guessed then just how quickly this day would turn, and be one of the most jam-packed, longest days ever. Near the end of free time, I see coming towards me a Pathfinder camper being escorted quickly by a staff member, and something red all over his chin. Yup, that's blood. The news traveled before he even reached me that he'd bit through his lip while tubing. A counselor has to attend him to the hospital, so Kyle rushes off and my heart is racing for no other reason than we are one counselor down and a kid in our care is headed to the hospital. I'm able to settle down, but I already know that my hour off is not going to happen at the scheduled time; we'll be in small groups, and I'm the only half of my team currently on campus. Not a big deal in light of the situation. 

 

Our next activity was talking about change, which was one of the favorites of the campers last week. Josh is leading this, and is using a “mission” (activity accompanying the lesson to enhance the teaching) that we used in staff training in 2012. In this mission, the kids are asked to untie knots in a rope but while they work on this task, the rules are constantly changing and new obstacles to completing the task arise. My team is doing pretty good, going faster than expected, so we escalate to one of the harder obstacles, which is completing the task blindfolded. This is where the group stalled, and they entered a major “storming” stage, meaning there was conflict among the members that if resolved well could really bring them together. It also includes a lot of frustration in the group. “Frustrated” was a bit of an understatement at this time; there was some yelling, some absolute refusal, and a lot of complaints about the task. After the mission is complete, and we're talking through it and what could be learned, there's still a lot of tension between each other and some between some of the group and me. They sort of started to see my point by the end – change will occur, obstacles will arise, and new actions need to be taken – but the frustration didn't disappear. This makes me a little concerned knowing what's coming after dinner... the infamous geocaching hike. Maybe they'll do well on this, and not get lost?

Good news – we never left Grace property this time. Bad news – we found one item and ended up at the Ranch, about 2 miles away from where the coordinates actually were leading. This time I wasn't upset or scared, because a) the adventure core was with me (Kyle had returned, but had nearly passed out in the hospital so wasn't in any condition to hike) and b) I knew where we were, and that they weren't doing it right. So I'm covering my grin. The team, on the other hand, wasn't so thrilled. Actually, they were pretty ticked off. Many of them didn't want to hike, were mad that they had walked so far, upset they didn't find the items, and overall shut down in their attitude towards me since I had led them through two “stupid” tasks in a matter of hours. Not exactly the greatest thing for me as a counselor to have my campers not willing to really listen. Thankfully, we got back and I didn't have to lead anything in the small group setting. 

 

Some conversations that day also became heavier, and more challenging, which didn't exactly help my day. We did finish the night with healthy relationships, one of my favorite sessions, but by the time 11:00 lights out rolled around I couldn't believe it was all happening in one day. I was mentally and physically exhausted, and even still my mind wouldn't shut off very easily. After finally just unwinding a little through some reading, I fell into bed.

I'm happy to say that this day wasn't typical of the week as a whole, but definitely a defining day of the week. Thursday got better, was much more relaxing, and overall the end of the week was enjoyable. Even so, fighting for attention, fighting against some inappropriate behaviors, and handling all this week threw at me wasn't easy. But I came out of it, and I had a good Friday night, and hopefully a rejuvenating weekend.

So it's official. I made it through 2 weeks of camp. The rest of the summer is flip flopping between working with these kids again during service weeks and working with “normal” camps. I switch to Explorer Camp for this next week, 9-11 year-olds. It'll be an interesting transition, but I have done this camp before and have very fond memories of it. So what I need prayers for right now is a) a calming weekend and b) a smooth transition and a good week. I would pray that my week with the Explorers is “easy,” but that's selfish of me and sometimes seeing God work in the hardest weeks is the most impactful. We shall see what he decides to bring me for the next session.

Pathfinders Week 1, where apparently fluffy is something that projects

Just a couple things I realized about Pathfinders students this week that made me feel old:

• they were born in 1998 or later. I remember those years pretty well.
• they don't remember dial-up internet
• you mention AIM to them and you get strange looks
• trying to chase down teenagers during capture the flag – not as easy as, say, 9-year-olds. Actually, I couldn't catch them.

Well, week one of camp is over, and those Pathfinders went home Friday evening. But what a week it was.

There was a total of 17 high school students this week; that's total, both boys and girls. Pretty small camp, but that also made relationships amongst all campers closer. Carla, the other female Pathfinder counselor, and I combined our cabins into just one room, as there were only 7 girls. It was really good to be able to work alongside Carla, the only other female counselor returnee and so someone I already have a good relationship with.

Unlike other camps, though, we didn't do much of anything as a cabin group. Instead, we had 2 small groups that mixed boys and girls. My co-leader for our small group – Projecting Fluffy (name created by the kids) – was Kyle. God totally set up that pairing because we worked well together, my weaknesses made up for by his strengths and visa versa. Plus he's a really fun guy to work with and we grew close over the week.

We had some, uh, interesting stories from the week. One of those stories will live in Pathfinder legend for at least the rest of the summer, if not into next year.

Our activity for the night was a geocaching hike with our small group; the other small group would do this hike later in the week. It was the first time they were doing something like this, but the leaders thought it would be a good high schooler activity. One of the core staff hid various objects around Grace property and then recorded the coordinates for the kids to use the GPS to find. After an orientation to the GPS, we were off.

One thing to understand about this story is that I am the lone counselor on this hike for the first hour of it. We get an hour off per day as staff, and Kyle was on his hour off for the first part of the hike. So it's me, directionally challenged, and 9 high school students. Okay, resume.

We found the first two objects in a relatively quick manner – marshmallows and graham crackers. So we guessed what we were looking for next – chocolate. They read the next coordinates and we set off through the woods.

We're walking along the paths that wind through the forest of Grace property, climbing hills, trying not to trip on sticks, and me asking the students to not touch that dead baby raccoon. We pass high camp, a place I visited during staff training so I know where we are. We continue walking, and I grow less sure of if we're still on Grace property; I don't know how far our property reaches. And then we climb this hill and come out to a vast expanse of.... sand dune. Off to the side is this ramshackle silo. Well, we aren't on Grace property for sure now. The kids with the GPS find exactly where they think the coordinates lead, which is the middle of this dune. No chocolate, of course. At that moment the batteries on the GPS die. The kids look up bewildered. What do we do now? Funny for me to watch, only because I had been given extra batteries. I quickly rescue them from panic by producing new batteries.

The kids are sitting around the sand dune, saying how we're probably going to die out here and contemplating how deep to dig their own graves. Oh over-dramatic high school students. We are not going to die, I tell them, and try to think logically. I try to listen for cars to find a road which we can follow back. Nothing. Crap. Then I remember the other objects were found in a familiar place, so can lead us back to camp if we just find those coordinates again. I'm in big-time driver mode (meaning I take charge and just want to get things done) and so I tell the kids the plan is to forget the chocolate and go back to the coordinates for the graham crackers. No one objects. I tell them the coordinates and some of the students say that to get there we have to walk further across the dune. Heck no, I'm not doing that. I want to go back to the woods, where at least part of the time I was sure of where we were. I get a couple protests, but my teacher voice of firmness comes out and they all slink back to the woods. One of the students figures out the GPS allows us to retrace our steps, so we begin to do that. By this time, I know people know we're lost because Kyle's hour off ended half an hour ago, so he'll be wondering where we are, and we were supposed to be moving onto our next activity soon. We start retracing our steps and then I hear voices. “Pathfinders! Becca! Hello!” I shush everyone and yell “Hello?!” Then up over the next hill comes Kyle racing towards us with Silas, the adventure core staff and designer of the hike, directly behind him. We're found.

Apparently there were a total of 5 or 6 people searching the woods for us. Good thing we went back there, huh? What happened was the students were correct on the first and third coordinate of the north directions, but failed to take into account the middle coordinate, and so we were one degree off. According to Silas, that was about 1.5 miles further than where we were supposed to be and we walked a total of 3 miles that night. As I begin to process, the fear that was pushed aside on the dune takes over. But I'm given my full hour off, and by the time I rejoin the group I am able to laugh about it. Even writing this post I'm laughing about it.

Good things came out of this adventure. First, the students kept more positive attitudes towards one another than most students would in the situation. Sure, they were saying they were going to die, but they were also laughing and joking about what was happening. Second, it built the team. Getting lost in a sand dune tends to bring people closer as they laugh over the shared experience. Third, it allowed them to learn from their failure. Later, as I talked to my core staff, she apologized for causing me panic because I didn't know what was going on, but also said she wouldn't have wanted me to do anything differently if I had known. It was their failure to have and learn from. They learned to pay attention to all details for sure.

Besides these daring adventures, a lot more happened during Pathfinders week 1. We worked through the Journey curriculum, we discussed the 5 major worldviews, we talked about who God is, why the Bible is reliable, if and why Christ rose, and healthy relationships. I'll be honest, I wasn't always 100% sure what the kids were soaking in or what went in one ear and out another. But during one-on-ones and the final campfire I saw that I was wrong, and that I should've trusted that the Holy Spirit was working even when I didn't see it. Some of my girls told me their favorite part of the week was those lessons in the evening or the worldview discussions. At the campfire, students who had been acting difficult all week shared valuable lessons they had learned. Our God is amazing and works in wonderful ways.

So here we go, into week 2. The schedule may be similar, but the week is going to be totally different; new kids, new memories, new lessons learned. I'm looking forward to seeing more reapings of the seeds we plant.

The Start of the Impact

It's back to always smelling like either a campfire, the lake, bug spray, or sun-bathed skin – or a combination of any of those things. It's back to constantly carrying a backpack, setting aside my phone, using a watch, and getting bad tan lines. It's back to 24/7 community. It's back to challenging students to go further than they think they can and seeing the results, having the students open my eyes and challenge me to grow in my faith, and acting like a total nut because it's acceptable. It's back to Grace Adventures. Yay camp!

This is my second year working on the summer staff, which I think for my naturally more introverted is beneficial. I can remember last year during the 2 weeks of staff training I was feeling okay, but not totally at home or like I was acting like myself. By the end of summer, that had changed as I grew in relationships with people and in knowledge of myself. I loved this place and hence I came back. Returning this year, I found myself automatically more comfortable and able to be myself more naturally. I knew people from summer 2012, and found myself connecting first with them. As the week has progressed, I've found myself getting closer to them than I was last summer, which is exciting for me.

Though I already have people I know from the previous summer, I've been trying hard to not be that return staffer who only clumps with other return staffers or who talks about last summer to the point that people get annoyed with me. I think I've been doing a pretty good job branching out to include the new staff, or staff I don't know. The second half is more of a struggle just because last summer is the basis for my knowledge, and a time where I really grew which contributes to this summer. To some extent, I need to talk about last summer – to help new staff members, to share personal stories in order to connect with others or give a context for what we might be discussing. I hope I haven't gotten to the point where I'm annoying anyone, but I continue to try to check myself every day when I start bringing up last summer. Because this is a new summer, not summer 2012.

The way Grace's staff training works (well, the first part of it, because if you ask a staff member they'll tell you that staff training is all summer long) is the first week is solely focused on the staff as a person and as a community. Little mention is made of how we will perform our jobs, what skills we need to know, or what the curriculum looks like. We go through the curriculum we send our leadership camps through, learning about how to be Godly leaders and exploring who we are as individuals. We talk about behavioral styles according the DISC model (I'm an S, with some I tendencies, and a button that can put me into D mode), the 5 love languages (my primary is physical touch, which is the language I primarily like to receive, but I more naturally lean toward gift giving as the language I give to others), and explore leadership, feedback, conflict, and change through the Journey curriculum. Furthermore, we explore our God-given purpose by working through a book GA created called Pieces to a Purpose. Being a return staff member, I worked through the “digging deeper” Pieces. Last year while working through part 1 I came to recognize just how incredibly passionate I was about education; this past year has re-emphasized this. So my purpose statement wasn't a whole lot different than last year, yet it did get fleshed out more and I better understand what kind of goals I wanted to set for myself due to my experiences this past year. This method of focusing on the self and community rather than the job is not what other camps do, but I really like it, because it allows us to better minister to others when we understand our own walk with Christ.

Outside of the leadership activities, we also participated in activities that taught us more about the camp or gave us a challenge. For the past 2 weeks, we have heard from people from the various areas around camp that are part of the ministry – the marketing team, the maintenance crew (which included many of the staff's favorite session – plunging 101), the health officer – and we've all taken turns working in the kitchen. We also spent a couple days at Paradise Ranch, one of Grace's other campuses. We also got to participate in a high adventure experience. Now, had you told me as a little 6^th grader who sat shaking with fear at the top of the zip line tower that I would be actually looking forward to this experience all week I would've called you nuts. But with exposure that fear has subsided in the past couple of years, and I actually was pumped to either climb around in the ropes course or climbing tower. I was hoping to do the outdoor ropes course for the first time, but alas many wanted to do that activity. So I switched to the rock tower, and having powered through actual rock climbing in Kenya, I challenged myself to the medium level of difficulty wall. It took a lot of effort, and a lot of creativity, but I did make it to the top. Furthermore, through experience we have here at Grace we aim to have the participants learn something, and I did learn something that I can apply this summer. Looking at things from different perspectives, trying something new when the first attempts don't work, is going to be beneficial to my work as a counselor. When I am doing activities or Bible studies with my campers, and the method I am using isn't working, I can try to do it some other way, look at it from different perspectives.

This second week has included the information, instruction, and skills we need to perform our jobs; we don't stop with the leadership activities. Learning about the policies and procedures of the camp, behavior management, the curriculum, and details about being a camp counselor were all taught this week. In my ministry team, we also talked about our specific assignments for the summer. See, I'm part of the team that is going to be the high school leaders. This doesn't mean I'm never going to work with elementary or middle school (I do hope to get a couple weeks with other camps) but my primary role, and my role for this next week, is working with high schoolers.

Our high school camps are different than any other camps we do at Grace Adventures. Pathfinder and Quest, the 2 high school camps, are called “leadership treks” because the focus is on becoming Godly leaders. Pathfinder, the camp for which I will be a counselor for the next 2 weeks, goes through the Journey curriculum that we just went through and also discusses the 5 major worldviews. They also learn about serving others as once they finish Pathfinder they return later in the summer to be part of the Tim Team mission work team, which helps out behind the scenes around camp. Quest is the next step, where the students review the worldviews and also take responsibility for their camp experience, planning the schedule for their day on their own. They later return to either be counselors-in-training or work on the Tim Team.

Being a counselor for high school, a camp I have no experience with, is a little intimidating. It's Saturday and I still feel unprepared for this next week; the campers come tomorrow. I'm leaning on God hard for this one because what I do know is that God will give me the strength, the knowledge, and the words to plant seeds in these kids hearts. And with the nature of this camp, He can and will do incredible things. I can't wait to watch.

So, here we are, ready to kick off the camp season. Leadership treks begin Sunday, Discovery camp (youngest kids) begins Tuesday. Pray for all of the staff – counselors, Adventure, band, and full-time – as we plant seeds in these kids hearts this week and for many weeks to come. Pray that we successfully fulfill our mission – impacting people with Jesus Christ.

Kenya wrap-up

Well, I've been home from Kenya for about 2.5 weeks now. I was told I needed a wrap-up post from Kenya, so I'll do my best. Don't worry, Live Out Loud isn't going to go silent.  I'm about to start the next adventure - camp counselor at Grace Adventures - then the ups and downs of senior year and student teaching, so this blog will continue. However, this closes the chapter on my semester in Kenya.
People keep asking me if I've experienced culture shock coming back. Honestly, I don't know that I have. There are some things about home that changed in the past few months - friendships that formed, events I wasn't a part of, things that shifted spaces in my home. There are people who have left us that I wasn't around to say goodbye to. But this is to be expected. The first 3 days at Trinity were filled with happiness over being with my friends, in the community I love, even going to class, and participating in events on campus. Then I drove to Michigan, and again the next week was filled with catching up with friends, meeting my family, celebrating holidays and graduations. Maybe all this excitement saved me from culture shock, from boredom and feeling like I'd hit a lull too soon.  Now I enjoy my relaxation, reading more books, watching TV shows, driving my car around town. That relaxation isn't going to last long, so I'm soaking it in. The biggest shock has been the cold weather. If the Kenyans could be here, they'd stop saying I would catch frost bite in 70 degree weather. And this isn't even as cold as it can - and will - get in the Midwest, of course.

That isn't to say I've stopped thinking or talking about Kenya. I've presented in a formal manner, and talked for close to an hour, and that was just skimming the surface. It also arises in my conversation numerous times a day - whether it be over a meal, while watching TV, before and after church, walking around a store, gathered around a campfire, or in any context I find myself in. And I think about it - about the people and experiences - even more than I talk about it. My life as a mzungu in Kenya hasn't disappeared. It will always reside in my mind, shaping the way I act, think, and speak.

Life continues to move at a rapid pace. My community has been slammed with tragedies in these 3 weeks; more generally, our nation has seen much grief in just the past month. My only brother is finished with high school, something that's hard to come to grips with for his big sister. Some of my friends graduated from college. Children are getting bigger. I already have my bags repacked. The days are flying by. But I find myself still walking more slowly, retaining a positive attitude about things I didn't always enjoy thoroughly before, and seeing this life I love through new eyes.

My RD commented the first night she saw me that I seemed different somehow. I told her it must be the blonde hair. She shook her head,
"It's something more. It's like there's more of you shining through... There's more to Becca than there was before." Even from my perspective, I think she's absolutely right.

It is well with my soul... But it isn't easy

This post has nothing to do with Kenya or what I've learned here. But this is my blog, and I wanted to express this.

This post is about one of the best men I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with – Mr. Jeff Looman. He was my band director for 6 years, the only teacher I had for 12 straight semesters. He was a man I loved, respected, and have many fond memories of. In fact, some of the best memories included what happened in band class or music-related events. Further, he was a role model for what it means to be a good teacher and a Godly man. These are some of the things Mr. Looman was from my perspective:

• Music lover whom shared his passion with all those who played for him. I truly felt connected to the pieces I was playing, whether they were slow and mournful or upbeat and cheerful or so chaotic adrenaline was pumping through my body with every note. He truly loved music and was so enthusiastic we couldn't help but love it too.
• Someone who challenged me. I was so-so at clarinet, and he asked me to try bassoon. He pushed me to take lessons, learn it, and play for band less than a year later. By sophomore year I was in the symphonic band, the higher of the two bands in school. Further, he pushed us as a band constantly. We were often playing pieces that were levels above what our size school was expected to play. At festivals and concerts he expected the best of us, and we knew this, though he never applied so much pressure we were unhappy about it. But he didn't let us get away with slacking; the weeks before concerts were rehearsals of running the same measures over and over, with him being nit-picky about details to make sure we were performing it the best we could. He set the bar high, and because of this our band was top-notch at all we did.
• Wolverine fanatic. He would go up and down the halls before the rivalry between State and U of M blasting the fight song on his trombone. He also wore a maize and blue Santa hat at Christmas concerts. And I know he was so proud that his youngest is in the band at Michigan this year; I saw it all over his bulletin board last time I visited.
• Someone who connected with his students and knew how to have fun with us. He would joke around with us, laugh with us over funny antics, give us room to act silly during rehearsals or concerts while maintaining control, and generally was a wonderful teacher to start the day with. He also would bring the music to life in a way we could relate to it, connecting it to our lives or modern thoughts and issues. Moreover, he was interested in his students in and out of the classroom. I can remember discussing the college search with him, and some of the things he said encouraged me toward choosing Trinity. Also, he supported me on an individual basis. When I took part in Knollcrest Music Camp during the summer, there were at least one or two performance nights he came to watch me. Later he was one of the few teachers I invited to my open house and wrote me a personal and very supportive card wishing me luck in all I did. Band was one of my favorite classes in high school, and a large part of that was because of Mr. Looman and his style that was fun and accepting of his students.
• A man whom I deeply respected. During performances, the reasons I was nervous and wanted to be perfect were I wanted to get top marks for him, to perform well, to make him proud. When I would mess up, I felt disappointed in myself for letting him down, even though he didn't indicate he was mad at me. I can remember apologizing for an early entrance, and he smiled at me and told me it wasn't a big deal, I didn't do it often, and he knew I would remember it next concert. Another memory was one morning he was crestfallen over people dropping band to do other activities. I felt upset too, loving this class and this teacher so much that I didn't understand why people would ever let him down.
• A teacher who showed his love for his students in all he did. He asked about our lives, though never pushed us to share what we didn't want to. Not only did he care about his students lives in and out of the classroom, he encouraged us often. If we were struggling with a piece, he would help us break it down little by little, never getting impatient, but working alongside of us and encouraging us along the way. He was proud of us, even on the festivals we got scores of 2. He would applaud us for what went well and help us build on the critiques for the next concert. Furthermore, after every final cut-off for every song during performances, he would drop his hands and grin at us, nodding approval, even if the piece didn't go perfectly. Also, every semester included several mornings of donuts from Marge's, or a pizza party, or pancakes, and the final week the seniors were in school he would take every senior band member out to breakfast at Arnie's. He cared about every member, and I could see that in his actions every one of the 6 years I was blessed to have him as a teacher.

It would take me a long time to recall every moment I have that includes Mr. Looman. There were band festivals where we eagerly crowded around him until he announced our scores (usually 1's, the highest score) and then we would celebrate. There was the state festival when he brought us middle schoolers up north to Great Wolf Lodge for the weekend. There was band tour junior year, running around New York City, playing in a beautiful sanctuary and blowing the judges away, and especially every piece we played at that festival that we repeated at several other performances (I could never forget “Rush”). There were chamber music concerts, and my group of 5 that played for 2 straight years (and the funny moments with that group). There was 6 band nights, where at every concert for those 6 years trumpets and trombones would set aside their music and line the stage to belt “Sounds of Sousa.” There was graduation performances and the phrases and visuals that accompany those 3 years (“repeat to H,” Mr. Looman's stick distinctively pounding out the down beats to slow us down, and playing in my cap and gown, the final performance with my beloved “Looney”). There was collage concerts, playing “Wicked” selections, the music of Chicago, and the air percussion piece “Rockin' Ricky Rocket.” At Christmas time, there was “Sleigh Ride,” a symphonic orchestra playing pieces from the Nutcracker, and the tinsel and Santa hats we decorated ourselves and our instruments with. There was pep band nights with the national anthem I still hear in my head no matter what sporting event I attend, the CCHS fight song, and where we froze in the bleachers or could hardly hear ourselves play next to the screaming students.There were so many concerts in between, so many pieces, so many unforgettable moments. There were rehearsals 5 days a week where we laughed, pushed ourselves, and got lost in the music; classes that made 50 minutes fly by. CCHS will never be the same now that he is gone. I grieve for those band members who didn't get to finish out their high school careers and have him direct their final performances, especially this year's seniors who have had him since elementary school. I can't even fathom how collage or graduation will go this year. It's hard to picture CCHS without him and my next visit will seem very strange indeed.

In my final paper of high school, Mr. Looman was included in the people who had an impact on my life, and the fact that 3 years later I still have so many fond memories and still seek him out when I visit CCHS shows just how deep that impact was. I wish to emulate him in my own teaching, despite not being the music discipline. I want to be able to have fun with my students and have them still hold a lot of respect for me. I want to be so passionate about my subject that this passion catches on, and I want to bring the texts alive for my students just as he made the pieces come alive for us. I want to show the care for my students he showed. I want to connect with them individually and make them feel accepted. I hope someday to have students look back at their time in high school, and say that I was one of those people they looked up to and whom impacted their life. Mr. Looman was an amazing teacher, director, and Christian man. He encouraged us to make music for God's glory, not for our own, and I could tell his teaching was a God-given talent and he did it for Christ, not for the pay or recognition for himself.

The truth is Mr. Looman wasn't just my band director, but a role model and someone I could never forget. I pray for his family, for the students, for the staff, for alumni, and for anyone who felt close to him. I know he's having a blast playing the instruments that are all a part of his repertoire in God's presence right now, and I know Christ must be beaming at the joyful noise of this new heavenly band member.