Pathfinders Week 2... God's challenge for our staff.

I sit here this Friday night, pretty worn out from this entire week but happy I'm here. This was one of the craziest, toughest, and most memorable weeks of camp I've had. 

Similar to last week, we had very few Pathfinders. Carla and I combined to have 9 girls, and the guys had 11 teens. Also similar to last week, Kyle and I were paired up as small group leaders. But unlike last week, nearly every camper was returning to camp and some were even returning for their 2^nd year of Pathfinders. Looking at that list at the beginning of the week, it seemed that fact might make it a little easier. Well not exactly.

We quickly realized our biggest struggle for the week would be focus and respect while others talked. This went for both groups. I'll admit I fell into some certain teacher habits (“you're only wasting your own time”) when trying to gain back control. They sort of worked, but this is going to need to be an area I work on before becoming a teacher – gaining back the focus of my students. However, we had the advantage that we knew some kids had been here before and could be influencing these groups for the better if they stepped up and implemented leadership. This worked with some individuals, and that made it easier. 

We got through the first two days without too many major hitches. Then Wednesday came. The most interesting day that was so full of roller coaster moments as I hadn't personally experienced before.

As I believe I mentioned previously, part of the Pathfinders curriculum is teaching about the five major worldviews. This week, each of the counselors took one of the four worldviews (the four beside Christian theism) to teach each morning. I began this morning teaching spiritism. It went all right, and I even got kids interested in watching the 1990 movie, Ghost, because I showed a clip from it. Anyway, after lunch, during free time, one of my highlights of the day came along. Tubing was open, so Kyle and I went with a couple campers. When that ride was over, not many campers were lined up to go tubing. Kyle and I were already in the water, Carla was standing on the shore debating tubing, and Josh was just near the point. Carla jumped into our group, but we needed a fourth. Guess who we asked; Josh. The 3 people I've been working with, growing close to, and connecting with in a way different than any other staff, all participating in one of my favorite camp activities. I couldn't help but grin. Kyle and I ended up in the water while Carla and Josh both stayed dry, but that's besides the point. 

 

I couldn't have guessed then just how quickly this day would turn, and be one of the most jam-packed, longest days ever. Near the end of free time, I see coming towards me a Pathfinder camper being escorted quickly by a staff member, and something red all over his chin. Yup, that's blood. The news traveled before he even reached me that he'd bit through his lip while tubing. A counselor has to attend him to the hospital, so Kyle rushes off and my heart is racing for no other reason than we are one counselor down and a kid in our care is headed to the hospital. I'm able to settle down, but I already know that my hour off is not going to happen at the scheduled time; we'll be in small groups, and I'm the only half of my team currently on campus. Not a big deal in light of the situation. 

 

Our next activity was talking about change, which was one of the favorites of the campers last week. Josh is leading this, and is using a “mission” (activity accompanying the lesson to enhance the teaching) that we used in staff training in 2012. In this mission, the kids are asked to untie knots in a rope but while they work on this task, the rules are constantly changing and new obstacles to completing the task arise. My team is doing pretty good, going faster than expected, so we escalate to one of the harder obstacles, which is completing the task blindfolded. This is where the group stalled, and they entered a major “storming” stage, meaning there was conflict among the members that if resolved well could really bring them together. It also includes a lot of frustration in the group. “Frustrated” was a bit of an understatement at this time; there was some yelling, some absolute refusal, and a lot of complaints about the task. After the mission is complete, and we're talking through it and what could be learned, there's still a lot of tension between each other and some between some of the group and me. They sort of started to see my point by the end – change will occur, obstacles will arise, and new actions need to be taken – but the frustration didn't disappear. This makes me a little concerned knowing what's coming after dinner... the infamous geocaching hike. Maybe they'll do well on this, and not get lost?

Good news – we never left Grace property this time. Bad news – we found one item and ended up at the Ranch, about 2 miles away from where the coordinates actually were leading. This time I wasn't upset or scared, because a) the adventure core was with me (Kyle had returned, but had nearly passed out in the hospital so wasn't in any condition to hike) and b) I knew where we were, and that they weren't doing it right. So I'm covering my grin. The team, on the other hand, wasn't so thrilled. Actually, they were pretty ticked off. Many of them didn't want to hike, were mad that they had walked so far, upset they didn't find the items, and overall shut down in their attitude towards me since I had led them through two “stupid” tasks in a matter of hours. Not exactly the greatest thing for me as a counselor to have my campers not willing to really listen. Thankfully, we got back and I didn't have to lead anything in the small group setting. 

 

Some conversations that day also became heavier, and more challenging, which didn't exactly help my day. We did finish the night with healthy relationships, one of my favorite sessions, but by the time 11:00 lights out rolled around I couldn't believe it was all happening in one day. I was mentally and physically exhausted, and even still my mind wouldn't shut off very easily. After finally just unwinding a little through some reading, I fell into bed.

I'm happy to say that this day wasn't typical of the week as a whole, but definitely a defining day of the week. Thursday got better, was much more relaxing, and overall the end of the week was enjoyable. Even so, fighting for attention, fighting against some inappropriate behaviors, and handling all this week threw at me wasn't easy. But I came out of it, and I had a good Friday night, and hopefully a rejuvenating weekend.

So it's official. I made it through 2 weeks of camp. The rest of the summer is flip flopping between working with these kids again during service weeks and working with “normal” camps. I switch to Explorer Camp for this next week, 9-11 year-olds. It'll be an interesting transition, but I have done this camp before and have very fond memories of it. So what I need prayers for right now is a) a calming weekend and b) a smooth transition and a good week. I would pray that my week with the Explorers is “easy,” but that's selfish of me and sometimes seeing God work in the hardest weeks is the most impactful. We shall see what he decides to bring me for the next session.

Pathfinders Week 1, where apparently fluffy is something that projects

Just a couple things I realized about Pathfinders students this week that made me feel old:

• they were born in 1998 or later. I remember those years pretty well.
• they don't remember dial-up internet
• you mention AIM to them and you get strange looks
• trying to chase down teenagers during capture the flag – not as easy as, say, 9-year-olds. Actually, I couldn't catch them.

Well, week one of camp is over, and those Pathfinders went home Friday evening. But what a week it was.

There was a total of 17 high school students this week; that's total, both boys and girls. Pretty small camp, but that also made relationships amongst all campers closer. Carla, the other female Pathfinder counselor, and I combined our cabins into just one room, as there were only 7 girls. It was really good to be able to work alongside Carla, the only other female counselor returnee and so someone I already have a good relationship with.

Unlike other camps, though, we didn't do much of anything as a cabin group. Instead, we had 2 small groups that mixed boys and girls. My co-leader for our small group – Projecting Fluffy (name created by the kids) – was Kyle. God totally set up that pairing because we worked well together, my weaknesses made up for by his strengths and visa versa. Plus he's a really fun guy to work with and we grew close over the week.

We had some, uh, interesting stories from the week. One of those stories will live in Pathfinder legend for at least the rest of the summer, if not into next year.

Our activity for the night was a geocaching hike with our small group; the other small group would do this hike later in the week. It was the first time they were doing something like this, but the leaders thought it would be a good high schooler activity. One of the core staff hid various objects around Grace property and then recorded the coordinates for the kids to use the GPS to find. After an orientation to the GPS, we were off.

One thing to understand about this story is that I am the lone counselor on this hike for the first hour of it. We get an hour off per day as staff, and Kyle was on his hour off for the first part of the hike. So it's me, directionally challenged, and 9 high school students. Okay, resume.

We found the first two objects in a relatively quick manner – marshmallows and graham crackers. So we guessed what we were looking for next – chocolate. They read the next coordinates and we set off through the woods.

We're walking along the paths that wind through the forest of Grace property, climbing hills, trying not to trip on sticks, and me asking the students to not touch that dead baby raccoon. We pass high camp, a place I visited during staff training so I know where we are. We continue walking, and I grow less sure of if we're still on Grace property; I don't know how far our property reaches. And then we climb this hill and come out to a vast expanse of.... sand dune. Off to the side is this ramshackle silo. Well, we aren't on Grace property for sure now. The kids with the GPS find exactly where they think the coordinates lead, which is the middle of this dune. No chocolate, of course. At that moment the batteries on the GPS die. The kids look up bewildered. What do we do now? Funny for me to watch, only because I had been given extra batteries. I quickly rescue them from panic by producing new batteries.

The kids are sitting around the sand dune, saying how we're probably going to die out here and contemplating how deep to dig their own graves. Oh over-dramatic high school students. We are not going to die, I tell them, and try to think logically. I try to listen for cars to find a road which we can follow back. Nothing. Crap. Then I remember the other objects were found in a familiar place, so can lead us back to camp if we just find those coordinates again. I'm in big-time driver mode (meaning I take charge and just want to get things done) and so I tell the kids the plan is to forget the chocolate and go back to the coordinates for the graham crackers. No one objects. I tell them the coordinates and some of the students say that to get there we have to walk further across the dune. Heck no, I'm not doing that. I want to go back to the woods, where at least part of the time I was sure of where we were. I get a couple protests, but my teacher voice of firmness comes out and they all slink back to the woods. One of the students figures out the GPS allows us to retrace our steps, so we begin to do that. By this time, I know people know we're lost because Kyle's hour off ended half an hour ago, so he'll be wondering where we are, and we were supposed to be moving onto our next activity soon. We start retracing our steps and then I hear voices. “Pathfinders! Becca! Hello!” I shush everyone and yell “Hello?!” Then up over the next hill comes Kyle racing towards us with Silas, the adventure core staff and designer of the hike, directly behind him. We're found.

Apparently there were a total of 5 or 6 people searching the woods for us. Good thing we went back there, huh? What happened was the students were correct on the first and third coordinate of the north directions, but failed to take into account the middle coordinate, and so we were one degree off. According to Silas, that was about 1.5 miles further than where we were supposed to be and we walked a total of 3 miles that night. As I begin to process, the fear that was pushed aside on the dune takes over. But I'm given my full hour off, and by the time I rejoin the group I am able to laugh about it. Even writing this post I'm laughing about it.

Good things came out of this adventure. First, the students kept more positive attitudes towards one another than most students would in the situation. Sure, they were saying they were going to die, but they were also laughing and joking about what was happening. Second, it built the team. Getting lost in a sand dune tends to bring people closer as they laugh over the shared experience. Third, it allowed them to learn from their failure. Later, as I talked to my core staff, she apologized for causing me panic because I didn't know what was going on, but also said she wouldn't have wanted me to do anything differently if I had known. It was their failure to have and learn from. They learned to pay attention to all details for sure.

Besides these daring adventures, a lot more happened during Pathfinders week 1. We worked through the Journey curriculum, we discussed the 5 major worldviews, we talked about who God is, why the Bible is reliable, if and why Christ rose, and healthy relationships. I'll be honest, I wasn't always 100% sure what the kids were soaking in or what went in one ear and out another. But during one-on-ones and the final campfire I saw that I was wrong, and that I should've trusted that the Holy Spirit was working even when I didn't see it. Some of my girls told me their favorite part of the week was those lessons in the evening or the worldview discussions. At the campfire, students who had been acting difficult all week shared valuable lessons they had learned. Our God is amazing and works in wonderful ways.

So here we go, into week 2. The schedule may be similar, but the week is going to be totally different; new kids, new memories, new lessons learned. I'm looking forward to seeing more reapings of the seeds we plant.

The Start of the Impact

It's back to always smelling like either a campfire, the lake, bug spray, or sun-bathed skin – or a combination of any of those things. It's back to constantly carrying a backpack, setting aside my phone, using a watch, and getting bad tan lines. It's back to 24/7 community. It's back to challenging students to go further than they think they can and seeing the results, having the students open my eyes and challenge me to grow in my faith, and acting like a total nut because it's acceptable. It's back to Grace Adventures. Yay camp!

This is my second year working on the summer staff, which I think for my naturally more introverted is beneficial. I can remember last year during the 2 weeks of staff training I was feeling okay, but not totally at home or like I was acting like myself. By the end of summer, that had changed as I grew in relationships with people and in knowledge of myself. I loved this place and hence I came back. Returning this year, I found myself automatically more comfortable and able to be myself more naturally. I knew people from summer 2012, and found myself connecting first with them. As the week has progressed, I've found myself getting closer to them than I was last summer, which is exciting for me.

Though I already have people I know from the previous summer, I've been trying hard to not be that return staffer who only clumps with other return staffers or who talks about last summer to the point that people get annoyed with me. I think I've been doing a pretty good job branching out to include the new staff, or staff I don't know. The second half is more of a struggle just because last summer is the basis for my knowledge, and a time where I really grew which contributes to this summer. To some extent, I need to talk about last summer – to help new staff members, to share personal stories in order to connect with others or give a context for what we might be discussing. I hope I haven't gotten to the point where I'm annoying anyone, but I continue to try to check myself every day when I start bringing up last summer. Because this is a new summer, not summer 2012.

The way Grace's staff training works (well, the first part of it, because if you ask a staff member they'll tell you that staff training is all summer long) is the first week is solely focused on the staff as a person and as a community. Little mention is made of how we will perform our jobs, what skills we need to know, or what the curriculum looks like. We go through the curriculum we send our leadership camps through, learning about how to be Godly leaders and exploring who we are as individuals. We talk about behavioral styles according the DISC model (I'm an S, with some I tendencies, and a button that can put me into D mode), the 5 love languages (my primary is physical touch, which is the language I primarily like to receive, but I more naturally lean toward gift giving as the language I give to others), and explore leadership, feedback, conflict, and change through the Journey curriculum. Furthermore, we explore our God-given purpose by working through a book GA created called Pieces to a Purpose. Being a return staff member, I worked through the “digging deeper” Pieces. Last year while working through part 1 I came to recognize just how incredibly passionate I was about education; this past year has re-emphasized this. So my purpose statement wasn't a whole lot different than last year, yet it did get fleshed out more and I better understand what kind of goals I wanted to set for myself due to my experiences this past year. This method of focusing on the self and community rather than the job is not what other camps do, but I really like it, because it allows us to better minister to others when we understand our own walk with Christ.

Outside of the leadership activities, we also participated in activities that taught us more about the camp or gave us a challenge. For the past 2 weeks, we have heard from people from the various areas around camp that are part of the ministry – the marketing team, the maintenance crew (which included many of the staff's favorite session – plunging 101), the health officer – and we've all taken turns working in the kitchen. We also spent a couple days at Paradise Ranch, one of Grace's other campuses. We also got to participate in a high adventure experience. Now, had you told me as a little 6^th grader who sat shaking with fear at the top of the zip line tower that I would be actually looking forward to this experience all week I would've called you nuts. But with exposure that fear has subsided in the past couple of years, and I actually was pumped to either climb around in the ropes course or climbing tower. I was hoping to do the outdoor ropes course for the first time, but alas many wanted to do that activity. So I switched to the rock tower, and having powered through actual rock climbing in Kenya, I challenged myself to the medium level of difficulty wall. It took a lot of effort, and a lot of creativity, but I did make it to the top. Furthermore, through experience we have here at Grace we aim to have the participants learn something, and I did learn something that I can apply this summer. Looking at things from different perspectives, trying something new when the first attempts don't work, is going to be beneficial to my work as a counselor. When I am doing activities or Bible studies with my campers, and the method I am using isn't working, I can try to do it some other way, look at it from different perspectives.

This second week has included the information, instruction, and skills we need to perform our jobs; we don't stop with the leadership activities. Learning about the policies and procedures of the camp, behavior management, the curriculum, and details about being a camp counselor were all taught this week. In my ministry team, we also talked about our specific assignments for the summer. See, I'm part of the team that is going to be the high school leaders. This doesn't mean I'm never going to work with elementary or middle school (I do hope to get a couple weeks with other camps) but my primary role, and my role for this next week, is working with high schoolers.

Our high school camps are different than any other camps we do at Grace Adventures. Pathfinder and Quest, the 2 high school camps, are called “leadership treks” because the focus is on becoming Godly leaders. Pathfinder, the camp for which I will be a counselor for the next 2 weeks, goes through the Journey curriculum that we just went through and also discusses the 5 major worldviews. They also learn about serving others as once they finish Pathfinder they return later in the summer to be part of the Tim Team mission work team, which helps out behind the scenes around camp. Quest is the next step, where the students review the worldviews and also take responsibility for their camp experience, planning the schedule for their day on their own. They later return to either be counselors-in-training or work on the Tim Team.

Being a counselor for high school, a camp I have no experience with, is a little intimidating. It's Saturday and I still feel unprepared for this next week; the campers come tomorrow. I'm leaning on God hard for this one because what I do know is that God will give me the strength, the knowledge, and the words to plant seeds in these kids hearts. And with the nature of this camp, He can and will do incredible things. I can't wait to watch.

So, here we are, ready to kick off the camp season. Leadership treks begin Sunday, Discovery camp (youngest kids) begins Tuesday. Pray for all of the staff – counselors, Adventure, band, and full-time – as we plant seeds in these kids hearts this week and for many weeks to come. Pray that we successfully fulfill our mission – impacting people with Jesus Christ.

Kenya wrap-up

Well, I've been home from Kenya for about 2.5 weeks now. I was told I needed a wrap-up post from Kenya, so I'll do my best. Don't worry, Live Out Loud isn't going to go silent.  I'm about to start the next adventure - camp counselor at Grace Adventures - then the ups and downs of senior year and student teaching, so this blog will continue. However, this closes the chapter on my semester in Kenya.
People keep asking me if I've experienced culture shock coming back. Honestly, I don't know that I have. There are some things about home that changed in the past few months - friendships that formed, events I wasn't a part of, things that shifted spaces in my home. There are people who have left us that I wasn't around to say goodbye to. But this is to be expected. The first 3 days at Trinity were filled with happiness over being with my friends, in the community I love, even going to class, and participating in events on campus. Then I drove to Michigan, and again the next week was filled with catching up with friends, meeting my family, celebrating holidays and graduations. Maybe all this excitement saved me from culture shock, from boredom and feeling like I'd hit a lull too soon.  Now I enjoy my relaxation, reading more books, watching TV shows, driving my car around town. That relaxation isn't going to last long, so I'm soaking it in. The biggest shock has been the cold weather. If the Kenyans could be here, they'd stop saying I would catch frost bite in 70 degree weather. And this isn't even as cold as it can - and will - get in the Midwest, of course.

That isn't to say I've stopped thinking or talking about Kenya. I've presented in a formal manner, and talked for close to an hour, and that was just skimming the surface. It also arises in my conversation numerous times a day - whether it be over a meal, while watching TV, before and after church, walking around a store, gathered around a campfire, or in any context I find myself in. And I think about it - about the people and experiences - even more than I talk about it. My life as a mzungu in Kenya hasn't disappeared. It will always reside in my mind, shaping the way I act, think, and speak.

Life continues to move at a rapid pace. My community has been slammed with tragedies in these 3 weeks; more generally, our nation has seen much grief in just the past month. My only brother is finished with high school, something that's hard to come to grips with for his big sister. Some of my friends graduated from college. Children are getting bigger. I already have my bags repacked. The days are flying by. But I find myself still walking more slowly, retaining a positive attitude about things I didn't always enjoy thoroughly before, and seeing this life I love through new eyes.

My RD commented the first night she saw me that I seemed different somehow. I told her it must be the blonde hair. She shook her head,
"It's something more. It's like there's more of you shining through... There's more to Becca than there was before." Even from my perspective, I think she's absolutely right.

It is well with my soul... But it isn't easy

This post has nothing to do with Kenya or what I've learned here. But this is my blog, and I wanted to express this.

This post is about one of the best men I have ever had the pleasure of spending time with – Mr. Jeff Looman. He was my band director for 6 years, the only teacher I had for 12 straight semesters. He was a man I loved, respected, and have many fond memories of. In fact, some of the best memories included what happened in band class or music-related events. Further, he was a role model for what it means to be a good teacher and a Godly man. These are some of the things Mr. Looman was from my perspective:

• Music lover whom shared his passion with all those who played for him. I truly felt connected to the pieces I was playing, whether they were slow and mournful or upbeat and cheerful or so chaotic adrenaline was pumping through my body with every note. He truly loved music and was so enthusiastic we couldn't help but love it too.
• Someone who challenged me. I was so-so at clarinet, and he asked me to try bassoon. He pushed me to take lessons, learn it, and play for band less than a year later. By sophomore year I was in the symphonic band, the higher of the two bands in school. Further, he pushed us as a band constantly. We were often playing pieces that were levels above what our size school was expected to play. At festivals and concerts he expected the best of us, and we knew this, though he never applied so much pressure we were unhappy about it. But he didn't let us get away with slacking; the weeks before concerts were rehearsals of running the same measures over and over, with him being nit-picky about details to make sure we were performing it the best we could. He set the bar high, and because of this our band was top-notch at all we did.
• Wolverine fanatic. He would go up and down the halls before the rivalry between State and U of M blasting the fight song on his trombone. He also wore a maize and blue Santa hat at Christmas concerts. And I know he was so proud that his youngest is in the band at Michigan this year; I saw it all over his bulletin board last time I visited.
• Someone who connected with his students and knew how to have fun with us. He would joke around with us, laugh with us over funny antics, give us room to act silly during rehearsals or concerts while maintaining control, and generally was a wonderful teacher to start the day with. He also would bring the music to life in a way we could relate to it, connecting it to our lives or modern thoughts and issues. Moreover, he was interested in his students in and out of the classroom. I can remember discussing the college search with him, and some of the things he said encouraged me toward choosing Trinity. Also, he supported me on an individual basis. When I took part in Knollcrest Music Camp during the summer, there were at least one or two performance nights he came to watch me. Later he was one of the few teachers I invited to my open house and wrote me a personal and very supportive card wishing me luck in all I did. Band was one of my favorite classes in high school, and a large part of that was because of Mr. Looman and his style that was fun and accepting of his students.
• A man whom I deeply respected. During performances, the reasons I was nervous and wanted to be perfect were I wanted to get top marks for him, to perform well, to make him proud. When I would mess up, I felt disappointed in myself for letting him down, even though he didn't indicate he was mad at me. I can remember apologizing for an early entrance, and he smiled at me and told me it wasn't a big deal, I didn't do it often, and he knew I would remember it next concert. Another memory was one morning he was crestfallen over people dropping band to do other activities. I felt upset too, loving this class and this teacher so much that I didn't understand why people would ever let him down.
• A teacher who showed his love for his students in all he did. He asked about our lives, though never pushed us to share what we didn't want to. Not only did he care about his students lives in and out of the classroom, he encouraged us often. If we were struggling with a piece, he would help us break it down little by little, never getting impatient, but working alongside of us and encouraging us along the way. He was proud of us, even on the festivals we got scores of 2. He would applaud us for what went well and help us build on the critiques for the next concert. Furthermore, after every final cut-off for every song during performances, he would drop his hands and grin at us, nodding approval, even if the piece didn't go perfectly. Also, every semester included several mornings of donuts from Marge's, or a pizza party, or pancakes, and the final week the seniors were in school he would take every senior band member out to breakfast at Arnie's. He cared about every member, and I could see that in his actions every one of the 6 years I was blessed to have him as a teacher.

It would take me a long time to recall every moment I have that includes Mr. Looman. There were band festivals where we eagerly crowded around him until he announced our scores (usually 1's, the highest score) and then we would celebrate. There was the state festival when he brought us middle schoolers up north to Great Wolf Lodge for the weekend. There was band tour junior year, running around New York City, playing in a beautiful sanctuary and blowing the judges away, and especially every piece we played at that festival that we repeated at several other performances (I could never forget “Rush”). There were chamber music concerts, and my group of 5 that played for 2 straight years (and the funny moments with that group). There was 6 band nights, where at every concert for those 6 years trumpets and trombones would set aside their music and line the stage to belt “Sounds of Sousa.” There was graduation performances and the phrases and visuals that accompany those 3 years (“repeat to H,” Mr. Looman's stick distinctively pounding out the down beats to slow us down, and playing in my cap and gown, the final performance with my beloved “Looney”). There was collage concerts, playing “Wicked” selections, the music of Chicago, and the air percussion piece “Rockin' Ricky Rocket.” At Christmas time, there was “Sleigh Ride,” a symphonic orchestra playing pieces from the Nutcracker, and the tinsel and Santa hats we decorated ourselves and our instruments with. There was pep band nights with the national anthem I still hear in my head no matter what sporting event I attend, the CCHS fight song, and where we froze in the bleachers or could hardly hear ourselves play next to the screaming students.There were so many concerts in between, so many pieces, so many unforgettable moments. There were rehearsals 5 days a week where we laughed, pushed ourselves, and got lost in the music; classes that made 50 minutes fly by. CCHS will never be the same now that he is gone. I grieve for those band members who didn't get to finish out their high school careers and have him direct their final performances, especially this year's seniors who have had him since elementary school. I can't even fathom how collage or graduation will go this year. It's hard to picture CCHS without him and my next visit will seem very strange indeed.

In my final paper of high school, Mr. Looman was included in the people who had an impact on my life, and the fact that 3 years later I still have so many fond memories and still seek him out when I visit CCHS shows just how deep that impact was. I wish to emulate him in my own teaching, despite not being the music discipline. I want to be able to have fun with my students and have them still hold a lot of respect for me. I want to be so passionate about my subject that this passion catches on, and I want to bring the texts alive for my students just as he made the pieces come alive for us. I want to show the care for my students he showed. I want to connect with them individually and make them feel accepted. I hope someday to have students look back at their time in high school, and say that I was one of those people they looked up to and whom impacted their life. Mr. Looman was an amazing teacher, director, and Christian man. He encouraged us to make music for God's glory, not for our own, and I could tell his teaching was a God-given talent and he did it for Christ, not for the pay or recognition for himself.

The truth is Mr. Looman wasn't just my band director, but a role model and someone I could never forget. I pray for his family, for the students, for the staff, for alumni, and for anyone who felt close to him. I know he's having a blast playing the instruments that are all a part of his repertoire in God's presence right now, and I know Christ must be beaming at the joyful noise of this new heavenly band member. 

DuringMySemesterInitis

** This is also an article in the final edition of Trinity's Courier for this semester, though a couple things have been added or modified, but if you read that article this might sound familiar.

Recently, I read online 7 different made-up diseases that infect college students. One of them was called “DuringMySemesterInitis.” The description listed the symptoms as: a) vocal dissatisfaction with local cuisine, coffee, or alcoholic beverages, b) compulsion to post excessive Facebook albums featuring the patient on picturesque bridges or other tourist sites, and c) repeating the phrase “you HAVE to go abroad” until all others in immediate vicinity are infected. I have witnessed others with this disease. The question was if I had also caught it. What I do know is “During My Semester In” things in my life have shifted irreversibly.

As my time in Africa draws to a close, I can't help reflecting on what changes the past 3.5 months have had on me or our group as a whole. Since I have several posts throughout the semester telling you what I've learned, I will describe a couple of the biggest ways this semester abroad has changed me.

1. I have adapted to life that doesn't always have the luxuries we take for granted at home. It's a pleasant surprise for me when a bathroom actually has toilet paper supplied, or even when I turn the faucet and water comes out. Hot showers have become something I only get when on a weekend vacation. You don't always need a building to use the bathroom. These are just things we've grown accustomed to this semester. When I return to the States, it are these little things – having toilet paper, running and hot water, or even a bathroom in every building – that I will appreciate in a whole new way, and not take for granted.
2. My outlook on food is not going to be the same. Most of all, I will be grateful for the variety I am offered at nearly every meal. In Trinity's dining hall, I have at least 5 options per meal. When I'm at home, if for some reason I don't like what my mom is cooking (though I am looking forward to home-cooking after this semester), I can always cook up something myself. Or when I do fend for myself, I have a full pantry of dinner food that I can choose from. Even at camp, where meals run on a 2-week rotation, it is different from day-to-day, and I only get the same meal more than once a few times a summer. I don't foresee myself forgetting to give thanks for this plethora of options whenever I sit down to a meal, as long as I can remember what my eating experience in Daystar's dining hall was like. On the flip side, I have also grown a new appreciation for fresh food. The meat here is not processed like almost every meat at home, and it tastes delicious. The fruits are straight from the tree or ground. I've come to realize that fresh tastes best, and is good for you. Of course I won't be able to ask Wendys to go slaughter a cow for me to get my hamburger meat, or keep goats or ostriches in my backyard to use as food, but at least I can do what I can, especially when it comes to fruits.
3. Strangers or even mild acquaintances are now like family. A week before our departure for the States, a few of us were talking about the flight home as compared to the flight here. Coming here, we barely knew each other so were careful how we acted, what we said, and so on. Flying home, it is going to be completely different; conversations will flow easily, there will be lots of laughter, and we are going to soak in as much time together as we can before we part for the summer. There is very little that we don't talk about with one another in this group. We may bicker, we may disagree, we may get sick of seeing one another every so often, but the fact is we're family. We look out for each other, we share joys and sorrows, we have inside jokes, and there will be no one else who will ever understand what this experience, Kenya 2013, has been like. I could never forget these people.
4. I am incredibly grateful for the education I have and continue to receive in the U.S. due to what I have seen and experienced here. For the next year as I finish up at Trinity Christian College, I may get stressed and overwhelmed, but if I ever feel like complaining I will remember how I felt this semester in some of my courses. I will remember how blessed we are to be learning within the American school system, how amazing it is our professors push us while still showing us they care, and how all that hard work is setting me up for great success, and I will thank God. Further, as I go on to teach, I will remember what I have observed in schools in Kenya, both what I disagreed with and would like to do differently as a teacher, as well as unique perspectives on teaching that I can learn and benefit from. I will be grateful for the building I teach in, the staff around me, the education system itself, and the students, and for them I will strive to bring my best to the classroom every day.
5. I have a whole new view on Africa, particularly on Kenya, and, in general, different people of the world. Sometimes people think this place is only what you see in National Geographic or western documentaries – a bush country, a desert, where people only dress themselves in beads and loin cloths. But you can't believe everything you see on TV. Though there are the rural areas, there are cities that are hardly different than any city in the U.S., with people in business attire or jeans and t-shirts, malls, busy streets, fancy restaurants, businesses, and anything else you expect to find in a city. More over, I have more in-depth knowledge of the struggles this country, as well as other African countries, go through. I know about tribalism, government corruption, and the ways that they still need to develop. I also know their successes – some successes that don't always get world attention. I cannot be indifferent to what happens in this country, as Kenya will remain in my heart.

I knew this experience would not leave me unchanged, but I could not have predicted the ways that it has changed me. If I had the opportunity to do it all over again, I would without hesitation. As much as I am looking forward to being home, it is sad to think I may never be back in this place again. I would love to return someday.

Before and during freshman year of college, several people told me that I should go abroad while in college. They told me that it was the best time to travel, and I wouldn't necessarily get the same opportunity later in life. I would have to say I agree with them. We have done so many things, had dozens of once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and over and over I questioned if this was my real life. And all of this cost us the same as a semester at Trinity. So if someone is wondering what is the one thing they should make sure they do while in college, I'd say go abroad. If not Kenya (though I'd highly recommend this program), then any of the other abroad programs that most interest you. Get out there, do something new, even when it's scary. If I had not tried things that scared me, I would not be the same young woman I am today. Take a chance. You won't regret it.

Between my excessive Facebook albums, one of my new favorite foods being ostrich meat, and my desire for everyone to go abroad if they get the chance, it's clear I have the early symptoms of DuringMySemesterInitis. But I don't think I want a cure.

Last week... What.

Well, folks, it's the home stretch. Exams are happening over the next 4 days for us American students. In 5.5 days I will have packed up and left Daystar's campus and be ready to fly out in the wee hours of the morning of the 8th. There is so much to look forward to about going home but also so much I will miss about being in Africa. Nevertheless, I cannot wait to see you all!

In this last full week, I was not expecting it to be anything like it turned out to be. Saturday evening we found out Jeff had booked us a dorm in a backpacking hostel just down the road from Daystar's Nairobi campus, and easy walking distance to some of our favorite stops in downtown Nairobi. We would have this dorm, to come and go as we please, through Thursday morning (we had Monday and Tuesday off as study days, and Wednesday was a public holiday). Eager to take a break from Daystar's campus, I packed a duffel for 4 days and left campus early Sunday morning. Even then I had no idea what this week would bring - I was just expecting some relaxation with people I have come to love, good wifi, hot showers, and meal options that weren't rice and stew. Jeff had more plans.

Monday
The idea of going to the Kenyan Parliament building as been tossed around off and on all semester. Monday it finally came together. We got a call Monday morning to eat some lunch and then dress nicely because we would be going to Parliament that afternoon.
Now, sometimes I can be a government geek. However, I'm not super political or anything, and don't like debating politics; rather, I love to learn about government and visit its key structures. Senior year of high school, I traveled to Washington D.C. for a week with National Close-up, and had an intense week of academic fun running around the capitol, talking with senators and representatives, discussing government with students from all over the nation, and just having a blast. Since that time, I have to be honest, my interest has tapered some because I haven't taken political science/government courses or been exposed to a lot of government-type activities (other than voting). However, sitting in that Parliament building, feeling professional, I had a flashback to sitting in the U.S. House of Representatives and started to remember why I loved learning about government.
A little bit about what I picked up on from the guides as we sat in the National Assembly hall.
- There are 2 houses to the government under the new constitution, similar to the U.S. They are the National Assembly and the Senate. However, they are sort of flip-flopped from the roles of the Senate versus the House in the U.S. 

• Senate: 68 members that are responsible for making county laws
• National Assembly:  349 members that are responsible for making national laws
• Thus, the order for a law to pass will, from the lowest level, go from the Senate -> National Assembly -> President

- There are 290 constituencies in the nation, all have one member representing them in the N.A. There are also 47 counties, and each gets a representative in the N.A. and a senator in the Senate
- The speaker of the N.A. is elected by the M.Ps (members of Parliament; the National Assembly members)
- The hall has several different portions, including galleries for visiting diplomats, another for guests the speaker invites, and another for the press
- Under the old constitution, the M.P.s could serve as ministers in the executive branch as well, under the President, but since the constitution was amended, they no longer can be both. Rather, they stay an M.P. or step down and then can be chosen as a minister
- It's not very easy for the M.P.s themselves to get bills pushed through. The M.P. that represents the constituency that Korr is in, a friend of Jeff and Asaaska, said he has only been able to get 2 bills in 3 terms passed.
- Last fun fact: the seats in the National Assembly were made by prisoners. There was some controversy over the price the nation paid for these, since it was free labor, but I think they're pretty nice. And also under construction is the Senate wing. They currently meet down the road from the Parliament building.

After our visit to the Parliament, and meeting the Joseph Lekuton, the M.P. from Asaaska's constituency, we left to head back to the hostel. There we found out that Joseph had invited Asaaska and a few members of our group out to dinner. Asaaska decided to bring Jake, Jess, Paige, and I with her that night. So I stayed looking spiffy and that night the 5 of us headed out to Ethiopian food paid for by a prominent government official. Amazing, right?
During dinner, we talked about what we'd done as a program, what we loved about Kenya, and then started to talk a little about different aspects of Kenya's politics. One of my favorite moments occurred when Jess asked Joseph about the mental health bill he had mentioned he was going to try to pass. Since she's a special education major, I knew this would peak her interest. Basically, Joseph said the bill is trying to get health care and housing provided through the government for people with mental illnesses, similar to what they have in health care for other illnesses currently. Then - here's the cool part - once Jess told Joseph her major, he told Jess he'd send her a draft of the bill for her to look over, revise, and send back. Jess is going to have a say in a possible Kenyan law! How incredible is that? I think I'm just as excited for her as she is.
After a quick picture, the four of us students were then offered a ride back to the hostel in the government car. Once I arrived back, I was bursting with excitement. I had just dined with a government official. He had bought my food, talked about life and politics, offered my friend an amazing opportunity, then had us ride in his car. I was so incredibly fortunate and blessed to have been a part of this night.


Tuesday
Tuesday evening we had a lecture for the cultural class that we all take (essentially this whole semester is part of this class). This lecture was about Islam in Africa, and after a history lesson about the religion, Jeff invited some of his good friends who are Muslims to come over and discuss their religion and answer any questions we have. I remember learning about Islam in high school, but honestly remember very little about the religion, and found it interesting to talk with these men who hold these beliefs for themselves. Being college students, and some people being theology majors or minors, a lot of really deep questions were posed and it was interesting to hear their answers - many of them more similar to beliefs held by some Christians than I realized. It is also interesting to bring up the subject of terrorism and Bin Laden with them. Turns out Muslims are  just as angry, if not more angry, with Bin Laden's actions as everyone in the U.S. was. It was a good night, intellectually engaging (something I am happy about - I actually took several pages of notes!), and definitely worth spending hours discussing.

Wednesday
Wednesday was another day of good discussion. We had a cook-out at Jeff's, just like the very first weekend we were here, and then listened to one of his good friends, Yves, tell us about several African leaders, comparing autocracy to democracy. Then we held a discussion about which is best for Africa right now. Yves is very knowledgeable about Africa, and had a lot of good information to share and provide us with things to think about. I again got to stimulate my brain and learn about government, so again my government geek started to show a little.

What's next
This Saturday and Sunday we get to go to Amboseli National Park, a couple hours from here, which has more safari animals and a great view of Mt. Kilimanjaro from Kenya. More game drives, more sweet pictures, and more relaxation at a really nice resort. I can live with that.
I have now completed one exam, and will take 3 more next week Tuesday. After those are complete, we will bolt out of this campus so they don't think we're cheating (a long story), and then spend several hours in town before heading to Kenyatta Airport and bidding Kenya goodbye.
I can't believe this moment is already here. These months have flown by, especially the past month. It doesn't seem like a month ago we were celebrating Easter, climbing Mt. Longonot, and biking around Hell's Gate. As the time here draws to a close, I find myself with mixed emotions. I dream of one day returning to this place, because it has for sure kept a piece of my heart. I wonder how acclimating back into the U.S. will be. I am pumped to see the people I love in both of my homes and have a whole new gang of friends to visit and hang out with between Chicago and West Michigan. But most of all, I am grateful. What a ride.